mary
Australia
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Heyme
France
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
heeeeeyitsbrittney
Butterfingers
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Jaws
France
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
oops
My chocolate
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
TaintedL0v3
London, United Kingdom
Heavy session last night?
Today, I woke up with Chocolate Buttons superglued to my face. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
kp.
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Gotta have it
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Top comments
FiasCudi 0
how did you manage that?
CrimsonViolets 11
"chocolate rain"... ow ****!
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Comments (323)
sertyla 1
Was there a golden ticket?
Cocokacho 2
That takes Skill, my friend.
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Wow you better be careful when handeling sharp cheddar we wouldn't want you to lose a limb now would we?
lhamil64_fml 5
You should complain to the chocolate company so that they have to put a disclaimer. "WARNING: This chocolate is sharp and can result in cuts if handled improperly."
Dizzy_Roar92 5
That happens to me sometimes. This person prob ate chocolate from the freezer
zoecw 14
Did you still eat it?
perdix 31
Hershey's Special Dark. You think that refers to color, but it's really the chocolate's borderline homicidal personality.
darkmis1 18
Holy shit I just ate one of those! It's gonna gut me from the inside out!
perdix 31
What else would I expect from DARKmis1? My favorite candy is Whoppers. Have fun with that;)
redbluegreen 41
Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Chocolate.
wyattmdsn 3
Bet you still ate it
newgiaw 3
Chocolate blade for fruit ninja. Mmmmmmm chocolate dipped fruits.
jcapbubbles0408 6
That's just impressive...