mary
Australia
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Heyme
France
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
heeeeeyitsbrittney
Butterfingers
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Jaws
France
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
oops
My chocolate
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
TaintedL0v3
London, United Kingdom
Heavy session last night?
Today, I woke up with Chocolate Buttons superglued to my face. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
kp.
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Gotta have it
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Top comments
FiasCudi 0
how did you manage that?
CrimsonViolets 11
"chocolate rain"... ow ****!
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Comments (323)
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Was it frozen? Because that sounds ridiculously hard. I might go buy a Hershey bar and test this theory out.
missalice0306 19
I already have. It's possible.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Thanks for saving me blood, sweat, and a dollar haha.
DocBastard 40
Was it white chocolate? I bet it was white chocolate. ******* white confection masquerading as chocolate. Quit cutting people just because you're mad that you're not chocolate! YOU'RE NOT CHOCOLATE, ************! Get the **** over it!!
traze 7
Whoa doc, chill the **** out, what have white chocolate done to you I wonder and sit to think.
causticgirl 6
Doc, I think you should sit down, take a breath and eat a Hershey bar. The hospital must be particularly brutal these days
DocBastard 40
Sorry...I'm a dark chocolate guy. I can't stand white chocolate even daring to call itself chocolate. THERE'S NO CHOCOLATE WITHOUT COCOA! Shit, there I go again...sorry, folks.
Doxy 22
I actually have to agree with Doc, dark chocolate is the best kind of chocolate .
redbluegreen 41
And thus, Psychopathic Records newest product was born: Choggalos™.
niznor99 6
I'm in love with the commenter above.
equius4life 8
Yah white chocolate's a bitch
nabila21 0
Mustve been hard chocolate. Did ya put it in the freezer or fridge?
leilaostara 1
Forever alone... Nice profile pic.
Choconumm 8
Like a boss
kimmi41509 10
Chocolate can be so dangerous!
ljcarranza 16
I bet it was Halloween candy huh lol it had a needle or razor ir something
GTAmerc 2
Chocolate is bad for you. :P
Ray_of_midnight 23
Not in moderation, it's not. It's only bad for you if you eat too much of it.
owlfeatures 8
Or if it cuts you... I suppose... Just sayin'!
iloveweed69 7
I love chocolate
Sir_Mitchell15 14
I'm so glad you shared that with the world.
livefreelylee 0
maybe that means you shouldn't b eating it.
Snafuusmc 12
Must've been frozen?