mary
Australia
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Heyme
France
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
heeeeeyitsbrittney
Butterfingers
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Anonymous
Put it away
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Jaws
France
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
oops
My chocolate
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
TaintedL0v3
London, United Kingdom
Heavy session last night?
Today, I woke up with Chocolate Buttons superglued to my face. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
kp.
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Gotta have it
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Top comments
FiasCudi 0
how did you manage that?
CrimsonViolets 11
"chocolate rain"... ow ****!
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Comments (323)
SoDamnAwesome 0
Bravo. Bravo.
taetay2010j 0
Haha I love it death my chocolate not because your allergic but because it slices you open hahaha
periwinkle95 10
What?
SoDamnAwesome 0
I think she meant death by chocolate...
SaMmIMonster96 6
That is my luck...
ForeverAloneGal 23
That's amazing. Why are you on FML?
farkas420 0
That's somethin to be proud of
hateevryone 15
was it hard chocolate?
AlaskaKid95 7
OP cut herself on melted chocolate..
Doxy 22
She's just that badass.
BeBeast2323 1
That's what she said... Sort of.
j_cat187 20
#39 likes hard chocolate
leilaostara 1
A vampires dream - chocolate mixed with blood. ;D
blindedbyrain 4
There is actually a movie called Blood and Chocolate, just sayin
ProhibitionRose 14
Yeah but it was werewolves, not vampires.
leilaostara 1
Well I don't care which one I'm going to find that movie. :D
redbluegreen 41
What if the vampire is diabetic?
richieflow 3
Ur gifted
nowais 0
You've just done something that's quite impossible.
Irakli_1 27
You're prooooo. I wouldn't be able to do that on a bet!!!