Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, while I was at the gym, I saw a guy walk into the girls locker room. I was walking nearby so I said, "Hey man, that's the wrong one." Turns out it was just a very masculine-looking woman, with a very masculine haircut. FML
Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked, "Women's weights room." Oh. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
supportcommand 17
Don't drop the soap in the shower.
walmartpaysme 15
Run, OP. Run fast.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
supportcommand 17
Don't drop the soap in the shower.
marmlr339 14
OP isn't going to prison. The guy who likes orange came from prison!
supportcommand 17
I know that. People do shower at the gym though.
marmlr339 14
They don't normally here, but point taken
ogatasan 5
You sure do got a purty mouth
TheDrifter 24
People don't shower after workouts there? I hope the squirrel man is there to save him from his local nasty Nate.
kamikrazy 6
I think the better advice would be "don't shower"
Soloman212 28
41- and what?? End up with mild under their fat rolls? No thanks.
TBelle4Ever 15
71, OP could shower at home... Just like Perdix said.
NatandAlexrhot 6
#raped
ittsdann 6
Op- I don't think being jumped is going to be the issue.
bwinski 19
Sandusky?
bitch87 6
Lmao I did that and fell over
rich443 22
your buthole before prison . your buthole after prison 0
walmartpaysme 15
Run, OP. Run fast.
TheGianaJinx 0
I wouldn't have ran. My knees would have buckled and I'd piss myself.
BulldogHoops 14
Run, you orange flavored mothafucka!
jetsown08 21
Run the **** out of there before you get your liver lacerated by OG Mudbone.
CaptainDoorknob 7
Who would want to be reminded of prison?
awkward_gothlady 32
My thoughts exactly. This guy must be pretty twisted if he WANTS to be reminded of prison. Either that, or he has a bizarre sense of humor and wanted to scare OP and that was the best random bullshit he could come up with.
emilyjgraham 34
maybe he enjoyed the showers a lot!
trellz17 19
I think you better leave.
biggestfan23 11
And make sure he's in front of you at all times. He could surprise you from behind...literally
FreakoHolm 6
Your profile pic made your comment so much betrer
Welshite 40
Tell him he should start wearing all pink; the better to tap into his feminine side.
BulldogHoops 14
He might as well write a formal request for a kicking of ass if he does that.
Welshite 40
I wasn't writing that comment for OP's benefit; I was writing it for the bystanders. I would love to see that confrontation as a spectator.
gc327072 31
Yea, I'd love to see an ass-kicking as well.
j_cat187 20
Do that and he might tap into your feminine side, with his penis.
agonydrum 7
Just because he was in prison doesn't mean he's a tough guy, he could be a bitch
Snazzy_Snaz 17
PINK IS A MANLY COLOR!!
onlychildFTW 34
Yes it is 103
SetoAyumi 7
Better make a run for it OP. At least while you still can. :(
onlychildFTW 34
But when you run, run with your butt facing away from him.
TotalWin 0
I don't think being jumped is what you have to worry about. It gets lonely in prison.
Dixbfloppin 11
How would you know that…?
octopussperm125 18
Cuz he used to **** little boys like u in prison bitch, and if u were there, u may be spending alot of time on ur knees if u ask dumb questons like taht
court_f 8
Motivation to work out harder...? This way you won't be afraid of being jumped, you can take em! Lol
octopussperm125 18
It will strengthen his muscles in his rectum so he may be better prepared for big bob's "encounter" with his asshole
SonOfAMitch 14
Take them? Sure.... if you mean take a dick up your ass.
kenbarbz72 0
You're gonna get fat man slammed if you don't hurry your tiny ass out of there.
thebirdman5091 1
Or else your ass won't be so tiny...
Paco_el_Taco 17
Tell Bubba to get back to D block.
DomAce 4
Run.Now.