Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThatTennisKid14 13
That takes "shitty sex life" to a whole new level
BreM16 23
Oh my.. I bet she felt really bad! Well I guess now you guys could take a shower together instead
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
DerpingtonHerp 14
I'm naming my new metal band Shartpocalypse
chode124 11
did she say anything or did she pretend nothing happened either way she must feel like shit
Hop6e 22
You just gave me a whole new fear for when my boyfriend and I spoon now....I'll never eat mexican again.
nightfall8705 33
Shartpocalypse... I laughed so much harder than I should have. Sorry, OP. Think of it this way, there's all kinds of people who are into the whole "********" on chests, stomachs, faces, etc... not me, but you got for free what those nasty ******* would have paid big bucks for. On second thought, **** your life, that's pretty shitty for that to happen to you.
Angsty_Armadillo 25
At least it wasn't Chipotle.
HoboMeth 36
that's something to never taco bout
vikky538 29
You can wash off the shit but you can never wash off that moment ever.
tompom331 19
To be honest that is love. Naked Taco Bell and you still love her even if she ***** on you
Rented_eyebrows 18
Bananananaans everywhere ...... Banana... Banananann..nanan ... Batman
tanya8925 9
I'm dying of laugter