Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, I noticed I spend most of my day translating French, German, and other languages for my boss, as he talks to people overseas. As his assistant I make crap money. If I were promoted to a Translator I’d make a lot more. He won’t promote me. In fact he threatened to fire me if I asked again. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, I didn't get my driver's license, even though I didn't make any mistakes because my examiner said it was only my first time taking the exam, so it wouldn't matter if I failed. Now I have to pay another €240 for a second exam. FML
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML
Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML
Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I guarantee that their are a lot of native English speakers would fail an English proficiency test to. You're test was probably just a bit two hard. Just except that you need too study harder and due better next time. Good luck.
nightbirdblue 27
Native speakers tend to have more improper grammar and usages of slang than those that learned a language in an educational environment. Learning a language naturally tends to leave more room for twisting the rules of that language's grammar. Those who learn a language in an educational setting end up learning rules of that language at the same time as they learn the language itself. Natural learning of a language tends to get the language before full understanding of the rules of that language is learned and understood.
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Comments (146)
sanecatlady 13
I'm from Canada, and my computer only understands so-called American English, so if I spell colour with a U I get an an angry red squiggly line under it, which basically means, "you can't spell and you're stupid". But if I switched it to UK English it would do the same if I spelled tire with an I. It's like everyone in the US thinks we're British and everyone from the UK thinks we're American and they need to just. Get. Over. It! Also American and Canadian are not languages, the two main languages in Canada are English and French.
dawnimus 21
"Tire" in the UK is an entirely different word, so you wouldn't get a squiggly line, but your sentence would no longer make sense. I tire of your strange Canadian mix-and-match approach to English.
tournamentdecide 33
In America we use it in the same context.
migmit 11
Сочувствую.
LeDaniel 9
mother Russia is ashamed of you!
LifeStinks227 10
He failed the same way you failed English in grade school.
tournamentdecide 33
The English language had nothing to do with this FML.
sammyjo06 14
Sorry, but you deserve it. I know that I would pass any English language proficiency test with flying colors.
annie_nk 23
Wow. You're incredibly stuck up. Just because you *think* you would pass an English test, doesn't mean OP should have passed a similar test in a completely different language! Russian doesn't even use the same letters we do.
zsshamalama 11
Why don't you try it if you think you're so good?
justme119 1
Lihko zabit
TAHK 11
I assume you are talking about the military one. That test is like raping your brain with an ice pick for 5 hours.
Eternity49 13
Russian is awesome! That sucks about the test.. I'm learning by ear from native speakers, learning in structured setting vs immersion are completely different. I started picking it up accidentally by being around it often.
DorkFishx3 5
$400/month isn't that much.. there are much better jobs!! keep your head up, you'll find a job worth a lot more!
glabberfasted 16
This isn't 400 American dollars, this is in Russia, where the currency is different.
Nyx_fml 23
The sign for rubles is not $, though. Also, 400 rubles would be... $12. Also, OP posted from Texas. I'm thinking OP meant it was a raise of $400 more a month.
cypherwars 15
#58 , Actually if you notice the FML was posted from United States . So yes the currency is dollar $_$.
lachicadecafe 12
I'm a Spanish teacher and I have had more than one native speaker "fail" my class because, 1) they didn't think they needed to do the work 2) they didn't know jack in their own language except how to speak it. Being proficient in a language is more than speaking. It's being able to read, write, hear and speak correctly. If you aren't good at all of those, you are not proficient.