Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, I noticed I spend most of my day translating French, German, and other languages for my boss, as he talks to people overseas. As his assistant I make crap money. If I were promoted to a Translator I’d make a lot more. He won’t promote me. In fact he threatened to fire me if I asked again. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, I didn't get my driver's license, even though I didn't make any mistakes because my examiner said it was only my first time taking the exam, so it wouldn't matter if I failed. Now I have to pay another €240 for a second exam. FML
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML
Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML
Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I guarantee that their are a lot of native English speakers would fail an English proficiency test to. You're test was probably just a bit two hard. Just except that you need too study harder and due better next time. Good luck.
nightbirdblue 27
Native speakers tend to have more improper grammar and usages of slang than those that learned a language in an educational environment. Learning a language naturally tends to leave more room for twisting the rules of that language's grammar. Those who learn a language in an educational setting end up learning rules of that language at the same time as they learn the language itself. Natural learning of a language tends to get the language before full understanding of the rules of that language is learned and understood.
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Comments (146)
Warmonger_Smurf 29
A Russian redneck, with a bad drawl?
doodlecloud 27
I guess I can understand not thinking about revising because you assumed you'd be fine because it's your first language and missing points on the complex things that you don't technically need to know to speak the language fluently...but even then, I'd hope you should get a lower than expected score, but not an actual fail. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a very difficult test and/or a high pass mark but maybe brush up on your knowledge before giving it another go!
perdix 31
Until you get your grades up, your parents should ban you from getting on the ... *Lowers sunglasses* Inter-nyet.
ChenEighty 20
Okay, that one hurt.
perdix 31
#47, the OP was smug, and with that failure, he got Putin his place! Better?
Rodis 1
Is this obligatory to put "Today" at the beginning of every single FML? "Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month" sounds awful.
I_Am_Melanie 15
"Today" is automatically put at the front of every FML. It's a rule.
gracehi 33
Yes, it's in the FML rules that all FMLs must begin with "Today."
DocBastard 40
Go back through the FML list. I challenge you to find one that doesn't start with "Today". Hint: There isn't one.
Lomus 24
It's annoying that one, but the consistency is nice when compared to say, spin-off website MLIA.
gracehi 33
Having lived in the US almost my entire life, and having used facebook for some time, based on what I've seen I bet there are a lot of people who speak English as a first language who would fail an English proficiency test miserably.
doodlecloud 27
Yeah...but that's not really consolation. I'd rather the kind of language you're talking about was an exception rather than the rule...
worldclassrager 41
That must have been one weird test for you to fail it...unless it was like an British English and American English kind of test and you got the wrong one...
sanecatlady 13
If it's any consolation, a lot of people have English as their only language and still they ain't no good at talkin' at it.
wooley29 8
глупый :)
McFlapple 5
As a Russian myself, I have to appreciate the length at which people will go to make a good pun in these comments.
slmchicd12 23
Was this for the military? Proficiency tests for linguists aren't what you'd expect. I took one for Spanish while I was in, but they don't offer extra pay for Spanish.