Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Today, I noticed I spend most of my day translating French, German, and other languages for my boss, as he talks to people overseas. As his assistant I make crap money. If I were promoted to a Translator I’d make a lot more. He won’t promote me. In fact he threatened to fire me if I asked again. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, I didn't get my driver's license, even though I didn't make any mistakes because my examiner said it was only my first time taking the exam, so it wouldn't matter if I failed. Now I have to pay another €240 for a second exam. FML
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML
Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML
Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I guarantee that their are a lot of native English speakers would fail an English proficiency test to. You're test was probably just a bit two hard. Just except that you need too study harder and due better next time. Good luck.
nightbirdblue 27
Native speakers tend to have more improper grammar and usages of slang than those that learned a language in an educational environment. Learning a language naturally tends to leave more room for twisting the rules of that language's grammar. Those who learn a language in an educational setting end up learning rules of that language at the same time as they learn the language itself. Natural learning of a language tends to get the language before full understanding of the rules of that language is learned and understood.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
Fpsnoob 1
Considering that you called it a dlpt I'm assuming you're in the US military. Just so you know they don't even do proficiency pay for Russian anymore. I know because I used to get paid for it until I retested this year, and passed, but then was told that it is no longer being paid for.
tranced_ 45
that's normal. my first language is Hindi but I've failed many times whereas cleared English language exams !
Herbowitz 1
Pizdets. krisha payehala?
JudgeComrade 17
Give up and become an 88M.
oakland43 6
it must be for the FLPP pay in the military.. i used to get it for chinese.
Miaku 11
Russian is also my first language actually. Anyway, don't worry about it, you might be a little rusty. Just try again next time!
scarecrow0590 1
that test is whack... I'm being kicked out for failing the korean one even though I know I know korean. don't feel too bad. just really sucks
damngood69 1
Ху*во, чувак. Значит русский ты знаешь не так хорошо, как хотелось бы. Удачи в следующий раз.
AssassinBug 15
According to Google Translate: "Hu * in, dude. Russian means you know is not as good as we would like. Better luck next time."
someguy314159265 15
According to my actual Russian skills: "That f*cking sucks, dude. It seems that you don't know Russian as well as you would like. Better luck next time."
someguy314159265 15
Russian is also my first language, and I am trying very hard to re-learn it after forgetting much of it since coming to Canada. I hope I didn't make too many mistakes translating the comment above me.
Lang88 13
Bahahaha gakook soki. Het Het bahahahaha epic fail Rushkie