Today, I eavesdropped as my friend tried hinting to my crush that I like him. He replied, "Haha, eww. She looks like a fuckin' garden gnome." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend who I'm crushing hard on that I like her. She gave me a look of revulsion and asked if I was joking. FML
Today, I told my close friend that I have a thing for him. His reaction? "Oh, fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Today, I tried to use a corny pickup line on my crush, but my mind blanked and instead of, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" I blurted, "Did you fall?" He just stared at me and said, "What?" FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
My collection of sexy garden gnomes takes offense, and they're going to recruit garden gnomes everywhere for revenge. That boy might not make it out alive.
elainebarish 8
Gnomeo, O Gnomeo, wherefore art thou?
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Comments (75)
Welshite 40
My collection of sexy garden gnomes takes offense, and they're going to recruit garden gnomes everywhere for revenge. That boy might not make it out alive.
fruitdragon 2
You're old man henderson aren't you?
elainebarish 8
Gnomeo, O Gnomeo, wherefore art thou?
Paws_Cat 29
Deny thy flamingo and refuse thy lawn?
blupenguin29 14
This could be the best comment ever.
PePziNL 20
This is seriously one of the best comments I've ever read on this site. Fav'd this FML just for this comment.
Cipher_585 18
He doesn't deserve you op ;) keep your head up
RichardPencil 32
Pray that he has a little people fetish. If he does, you know that you're the right kind of garden gnome for his perversion?
MissRaindrop 20
Considering the fact that his statement started out with "Ew", I highly doubt it.
RichardPencil 32
People with fetishes often try to hide their weird desire by pretending to be disgusted by it.
captain_hero89 22
I'd take a garden gnome over one of those pink flamingos any day
PackardBell_fml 19
unless it's Keemstar.
stryder9090 28
Find someone who appreciate garden gnomes
Lalala579121 28
Time to buy a little red hat and fake beard.
TheLawtman 3
What if she already has the beard?
hellnosucka 27
Thats great. it means she's halfway there.
CoolGuySoFly 11
Good luck
RichardPencil 32
Sorry, but you're going to have to move on to someone else. Someone who will be entertained by your stories of travel in your merry British accent.
WCARlover 35
I'm not even sure how a female can look like a garden gnome :p do you have a big white beard and wear huge pointed hats a lot OP?
frostedfoster 15
Isn't that Gandalf?
WCARlover 35
Google garden gnomes
jocamo 24
there are female garden gnomes