Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a choice of having a circumcision or breaking up with her. Either way I'm going to lose something I hold dear. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my wife, who I thought was my soulmate, admitted that she only went out on our first date because she'd lost a bet, and she'd thought I was a loser. Even though she kept saying that she really did fall in love with me, I left. My heart is just shattered. I'm not going back. FML
Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
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Top comments
Bman54 19
I guess either way, you're gonna be sore.
SorasOtherForm 4
What was the bet?
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Comments (227)
Sannekee 18
Oh come on! It'll be good!
sinverguenza 11
Ill bet it won't.
sturschaedel 27
If he manages to relax and go with it, he might have a really good time!
jackob1012 3
Would you bet being ass-******?
ElectroThunder28 16
It's really not bad
kombatkris 4
it is a lot of fun!
mikeybear11409 5
Think of this deadpool got ****** up the ass by his girl with a strap on
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Then again, he pussied out due to the pain and said never again, if I'm remembering right.
spudking 19
He didn't look like he was overly enjoying things, although he did have a whole mess of tumours growing on his prostate that probably wouldn't have enhanced the experience.
1known_fml 8
I suppose you've already done anal on her, so if she could take it, so will you. Man up! And if you haven't, well now you've got a good reason to try.
yerawizardlizzy 27
No no no no no. He does not have a good reason to perform anal on her if she doesn't want to. Just as she shouldn't perform it on him if he doesn't want to.
1known_fml 8
True. But the story shows that if one can do it, there is no reason the other can't. Apart from not willing. But then why doing such a bet?
LexB100 3
Maybe that was the terms of the bet. loser gets it in the ass
Dexter83_fml 17
Just think of England mate, but yes op that really sucks. Um best of luck.
xnemesis1981 15
Your g-spot is up there with the prostrate. Lube up and enjoy - you're gonna love it - if she starts gentle and you relax that is. And consent is important too.
holly_fly 34
It's called p spot for a guy...
Fairyjoshy 13
Ehhh nonono. If you don't want to do it don't ******* do it. "If you don't let your girlfriend do this sexual act to you, you're a sore loser because you lost the bet" is a form of coercive rape, no matter how innocent or childish the reasons are. You *could* take it as an opportunity to experiment, maybe pick a ***** that won't hurt as much. Research how to do it, use plenty of lube. And make sure that your girlfriend understands that when you want to stop, she has to stop. But if you really dread it, don't do it, and make sure your girlfriend understands why. Men can and do feel violated from these things and it's your body, your right.
Lyurskanen 8
Comparing this to rape is like calling a nudge on the subway assault, or abortion or medically assisted suicide murder. It insults and trivializes actual victims of rape.
Ilsontfous 3
I choose loser
PhoenixChick 26
When it comes to your body, you're allowed to say no.
half_past_hell 4
You don't have to do it if you don't want to. Making you perform a sexual act against your will is a form of coercive rape. That said, don't expect her to do anything she doesn't want to do either. Also, have you seriously considered it? A lot of guys (even straight guys) enjoy anal penetration. If you use lots of lube, preparation, and don't try to take anything too big right away, it can be really enjoyable. It might be worth a chance, so don't turn away from it just because you're convinced it's unmanly or always painful or something.
protoskore 27
Thank goodness Poppers are still legal in the UK. get a bottle and inhale deeply just before you begin. repeat as necessary during the process.
mattrd_fml 31
poppers... er, I mean "room deodorizers" are legal in the U.S. too.