Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
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Top comments
amadeclton 27
You should've gotten up and left.
Sandsh8rk 36
And he wonders why his other relationships have failed...
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Comments (96)
Random1D5SosTeen 10
Sucks to suck homie
Flarecraft 9
That's like the last thing you wanna hear when you're trying to have sex.
CarouselHeart 11
That sucks, but you didn't HAVE to listen, you could have said, "I'm not in the mood." and left.
thevelociraptor 31
Why are you generalizing all "broads"?
Imareth 10
Don't stress it. /Many/ people's first time isn't that great. In years to come, you'll be able to play "Well, /my/ first time was worse because..." like a pro. ;)
MeanBeagle 22
don't worry. the next one will probably hear about you.
little_one 20
Did you tell him if he's not careful he may be adding another failed relationships to that list....
lazyslumber 18
Physical intimacy would be more fun if a couple is into each other before getting together physically. If OP's boyfriend is still thinking of his past relationships then FYL OP
Priyaroshni 40
This is so true. You should not sleep with anyone, especially when loosing your virginity, until you have a strong committed relationship.
limabeans101029 21
36- That's not how everyone perceives sex though. Some people prefer for it to be a more casual thing, and that's fine as long as they're safe and not hurting anyone.
mosquito19 14
you should've give him some Vagisil and send him on his way.
Algorithm 24
The joke is that he has expressed Too Many Feelings which only weak, hysterical ladypeople have, so she should give him something that people use on their vaginas. He obviously must have one, since Real Men are strong and can never have emotions. It's so funny. Totally not sexist. Definitely not insulting to either gender. Nobody has ever made this joke before. Thanks, you shining comedian.
daffidwilde 6
Yeah, mate but at least he's sensitive