Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
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Top comments
Attacksloth 33
Clearly the most important bitch in his life.
Rinat_fml 26
How was the sex though?
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Comments (79)
AkaPanda 12
Guess your v card wasn't worth it. Poor puppy. Leaving for a night is hard on a dog.
silentsuffer 16
Then maybe you guys are too young to be having sex
itsmechardonnay 5
at least you know he loves animals
tintin10_fml 13
it was clearly his first time too.
Lachie20001 21
New Zealanders love their best friends.
SydLovesLacey 18
You had sex. There is no FML.
mr_sarcastic416 29
He wanted to get back to his main bexclamationmarktch (before I get pounced on; that's a bazinga)
prostar9993 15
Finally, a good pet owner.
joshi42 16
Did you lost it doggy style?
NightKat 25
Just tell him you already have s pussy, you don't need another one.
rockwrench 18
LMAO 62. Can't believe you got voted down.