Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
Stealth mode activated
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML
Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML
Panic!
Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cops laughed at me. FML
Top comments
WCARlover 35
..,did you really think killing a spider that was on your car with your keys wasn't a terrible idea? YDI
devildog562 33
You absolutely deserve it for using your keys . That's just not smart...
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Comments (71)
WCARlover 35
..,did you really think killing a spider that was on your car with your keys wasn't a terrible idea? YDI
nityasomaiya 46
Yeah, OP should have bulldozed his car instead!
nityasomaiya 46
* Might as well get the hairy creeps once and for all!
False_Stupidity 42
Kill it with fire is usually the only possible response.
ironmany_fml 23
or better, just get a rpg and blast that thing once and for all
Thisoneisnt 4
Really #54? get a role playing game? (ಥ_ಥ)
jennlody 28
no he meant RPG as in a rocket propelled grenade. that's how I saw it at least..
redstone7693 29
I hate spiders
ohSNAPyall 27
But they love you!
lyricalservant 21
would you key your car for it
Miss_Whipped 43
For a Klondike bar, anything can happen, #23.
redstone7693 29
its hilarious how I got down voted
False_Stupidity 42
That's because the spiders are all on FML and they don't like you after that comment. Better watch you back from now on, I hear that there's a spider mafia.
redstone7693 29
dislike troll fags
Omfgitsmia 15
Why would you attempt to kill a spider with your key?
Zoldyck 17
You're a natural. Pursue your talent, criminal. >:)
YFOS_fml 17
idiot!
Curtis66 19
In the future I recommend you use a flat object like a shoe to kill a spider.
5secondsofvvifi 21
OP probably would have left a dent if they used a shoe.
devildog562 33
You absolutely deserve it for using your keys . That's just not smart...
ber4fun 23
And the spider is probably laughing its head off for surviving and making a fool out of OP.
BeastyMcbeast 19
Only a dozen or so spiders are actually harmful to human beings out of the 34,000 recorded species. So more likely than not that spider you see and are afraid of can't hurt you even if it tried. No need to hurt a harmless bug. YDI op for over reacting.
YFOS_fml 17
did you not realise op is in Australia?
MrConcise 35
In fairness, Aussie spiders are ******* terrifying...hell, half of their wildlife is terrifying.
sicksadworld1317 30
Did you forget that arachnophobia is actually a thing? It causes irrational fears that naturally inspire over reacting to the situation until someone can find a treatment plan to cope with their arachnophobia. Plus that, an arachnophobe dealing with spiders in Australia is like having someone who's afraid of heights bungee jumping to face their fears- only to have the instructor tell them "Sometimes things can go wrong, but don't worry! You most likely won't die!" Yeah, us people with phobias tend to have our brains rigged to jump to the worst possible outcomes, and we often can't help reacting accordingly to that. Trying to kill a spider with keys was far from intelligent; but personally- if the spider was moving fast and I couldn't get to my shoe fast enough, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. Logic tends to short out in periods of extreme emotion. That doesn't make OP stupid or mean that they deserved it; it just means they had a reaction too severe for their brain to cope with at that very moment.
brand125 17
i hate people like 9. explaining to someone with arachnophobia how a spider is harmless even though they ALREADY KNOW THAT is like telling a person with depression to "just be happy". you only make things worse. although i cant assume thats the real reason why they wanted to kill it, they are in australia after all so it could be harmful... personally im too afraid of spiders to even get close enough with my keys.
doodlecloud 27
40/44 That's fair enough, but way too many people get freaked out by spiders. I think it probably is arachnophobia in most cases, rather than simple overreactions, but it's still something that needs to be combated. I don't think people are just born arachnophobic, it's often a learned reaction from seeing other people overreact to spiders. Working in schools, I've seen teachers talk about spiders saying 'ewww, they're so nasty, I hate spiders' etc., when there aren't even spiders in the room (so not knowledgeable but irrational) and I've seen the children copy it. I do my damndest to demonstrate to the kids that spiders are usually fine and actually kind of cute but I'm heavily outnumbered. So no, explaining the facts to an arachnophobic doesn't really help when there is a spider around, but I think it's still important to remind ourselves that, irrational fear or not, spiders ARE usually harmless and to be mindful of how we speak about them around kids.
brand125 17
i agree with you in that you should educate kids to not be afraid of them, and to not make a spectacle of spiders being nasty, because it is a learned reaction for some. however i disagree and kind of believe that people ARE born arachophobic. some people will argue along side me that its a natural instinct to fear spiders and bugs, since 2000-10000 years ago we didnt have the internet/ mass knowledge to know what bug was poisonois and what was not, and for the most part bugs and arachnids are not helpful to humans so it makes sense to naturally not want to be near them instead of taking that chance. same with snakes. i will agree that in some cases it is a learned behaviour like you say, but in others its not since all my peers and family like spiders and im the odd ball out that doesnt.
MrConcise 35
I just had to kill a brown recluse (fairly dangerous) and it reminded me of this thread. I'm not an arachnophobe (I actually own a pet tarantula), but I'm not gonna risk having my skin melted away by crazy spider toxins.
doodlecloud 27
57 - I actually meant to type 'most people', kind of a crucial word to miss unfortunately. Apologies. You're right, some people will just always be arachnophobic, and some are probably more likely to develop such fears than others.
brand125 17
57 - oh, well if thats what you meant to say, then i didnt need to write that long comment. so were pretty much on the same page. cool
BeastyMcbeast 19
Op never said he was an arachnaphobic. If he is one then his reaction is understandable and he doesn't deserve it. If he isn't an arachnaphobic then i think he deserves it for trying to use his keys as a way to smash a spider. I wasn't trying to be intolerant or anything, a lot of people just over react about spiders thinking they're all dangerous when they're really not. If they've been diagnosed with arachnaphobia from and actual medical physician then I'm sorry for them. If they're just overly cautious of spiders then they should know most spiders are fine. Its just the bad few that ruin it for everyone. Kinda like the fat rude americans that ruin it for the rest of us haha. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
brand125 17
whether or not they are arachnophobic is irrelevant, since using a key on a car is stupid in ANY situation whatsoever. the op gets so slack. and who the hell goes to a doctor to be diagnosed for a phobia like that one, unless they are actively seeking theropy? (which most dont, why would they?) thats a ****** stupid waste of time when most people with arachnophobia just avoid spiders and thats it. its kind of rude you imply that you only feel sorry for someone whos terrified os spiders if a physician diagnosed the condition, when all they would do to diagnos is just ask a few easy questions like "do spiders make you anxious" and bam the doctor labels it. sorry was of my time... like when i told my doctor i was depressed. i told him, and he diagnosed me. so sorry but that sounded silly what you said... just because he doctor didnt label it sounds mean shit.
brand125 17
sorry off topic. but yeah, no one said op was arachnophobic. but since its a common phobia, doesnt hurt for me to sugguest its a possibility. but it doesnt change the fact that a key was a stupid object to use.
MrConcise 35
Hey, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer? Quick, somebody go smack OP!
flufee2 27
The spider will be at your house waiting now :))