Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML
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Top comments
Kinglue 17
I mean I guess you could say you got shitfaced...
hoosiergirl94 31
Makes me think of step brothers when the kids made him lick the dog poop
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Comments (35)
Super_Asian_Boy 12
What a shitty situation
yuno_gasai_fml 34
You did at least not get all of it inside your mouth, I've read other FMLs where that happened
BadKitty13 28
Ewww.
LittleRich 10
Could be worse, could have been Dog poop or even Human poop.
Gryne 9
I guess you had a shitty day.
enginsteve 17
My lips came in contact with some shit once as well, my ex.
Xion0014 20
Free lipstick.
EarlFug 19
Life will present bigger challenges than getting a bag out of your car without ending up with bird poo on your face.
fml510605 16
Just imagine its cum