Today, I lost all of my male friends at work. Why? The new girl has my same interests and a prettier face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone except me. Then one of them said, "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML
Today, I walked into work and overheard three of my female coworkers talking and laughing about how ugly my face is, and how they’re sorry for whoever has to marry me. They went on to name the coworkers they actually would sleep with. I’m 25 and I've still never had a girlfriend. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML
Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML
Today, one of my female friends decided she wants a relationship with my ex. I told her I was fine with it because we've been apart for years and have been friends ever since. She then made him chose between being friends with me and having her as a girlfriend. I just lost two of my few friends. FML
Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML
Today, at work, a table of girls complained to the manager about me. The complaint? "He's not hot enough to work here. We want a sexy server." The manager agreed with them and sent me home. I might lose my job because of a table of shallow women. FML
Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML
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Top comments
littlekellilee 45
If this girl has the same interests as you, make friends with her. Then everyone can hang out together.
daffodilsea 11
Don't let it get you down OP! They're not worth your friendship if that's the case.
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Comments (91)
wheresmymary 22
They're shallow assholes, make better friends
jimmer23 21
Why must there be only one girl?
ohSNAPyall 27
*applauds*
Phooey 22
because she is selfish and wants all the attention to herself even if it's only to get in her pants.
CoopsShea 11
Sounds like that one episode of The Big Bang Theory where a new girl moves in on top of Leonard's apartment and penny gets jealous
SweetJane5522 22
Then I wouldn't call them friends. They're after the wrong things if her face has anything to do with your friendships
tranced_ 45
happens to me all the time. .one day i stopped giving a duck.. sorry OP. .
pokemyeyes 23
Yeah...they were never your "friends", OP.
imslappy 8
op piss on her. when they found out what she really is like see what happens.
BeTePoK 10
Show them boobs and they will be all yours again :)
Zebediabolical 45
...unless she has nicer boobs than OP.
Aimeejasmine 15
Boobs are boobs
FaduFai 22
I feel you OP
AnimeFan28 21
I'd say stuff them, op. Not worth it if they're like that. Maybe try be friends with the new girl instead, you may find you get along great and you'd have a real friend too. Always try look on the bright side of things. Hope it all works out for you