Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I'd told this girl I’m seeing that I play piano to impress her, it turns out her father is a pianist and has a grand piano in their house. Tonight, I’m supposed to go to her place to play her my "favorite piece." FML
Today, I spent an hour meticulously crafting the perfect text to ask my crush out. Just as I hit send, I realized I'd accidentally sent a screenshot of the conversation to my crush instead. Now they know my level of commitment: zero. FML
Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML
Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turned to me and screamed at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off." FML
Today, I was gonna tell my crush that I love her, but I found out that she has a fiancé. She kept it secret so I would carry on helping her in her studies, like a fool. She was acting like she liked me, but she never did. Now it seems very obvious. FML
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Top comments
Courtz08 0
that'll teach you to lie! :P
Residence_fml 4
why would you lie about something like that? Oh, I know, because he would NEVER find out about it of course when he would go to your place and ask you to play a piece. -next time when you lie about something make sure nobody can find out now or later YDI
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Comments (210)
ButteryassTravis 0
TOOL
orangesodaftw 0
@4 Yeah, because the samething couldn't possibly happen to more than one person.
tokintot07 0
anyone that didn't vote YDI is wrong.
jason2468 0
#8,10,and 14 r u all seriously fighting over how to spell douche btw I spelled it right
Mandy_fml 0
I don't get why your crush would be so extremely impressed because you can play the piano. Maybe if you told him you could get both legs behind your head or something...
CallMeHush 1
^^^This.
inconspicousfema 0
liar liar pants on fire good for u
perdix 31
Who the **** lies to their "crush?" I only started lying several years into marriage.
CallMeHush 1
A couple of years? Why so long? I like your friends. I love it when your folks come to visit. I was playing golf, it must have been someone else's truck behind the strip club. You should have been able to get 2 if not all 3 of those out in your first 6 months or so.
perdix 31
"No, those pants DON'T make your butt look fat." I'm not really lying when I say that, but it's not EXACTLY the truth. The whole truth would be "It's not the pants fault. What makes your butt look fat is your huge fat butt itself!" The other one, "Yes, I am so happy to forego sex with all other women just so you can have easy access to my money."
Ajjas013 6
You guys are going to hell too.
CallMeHush 1
What? You have another headache? Go lay down hun, I don't want it to get worse so I'll just keep the house quiet for you. If you need anything call my cell, I'll be at the club. ~grabs pile of singles and dashes to the door~
jennacide 0
Why do guys lie about having a shirt or shoes "forever" lol. Do you they think it is impressive? Seriously, I would like to see inside the guys mind with this 'cause I don't see how the time frame of having a shirt matters so much. Is it equevilent to when a girl gets all dressed up and pretty then when she is complimented says, "Oh, I just threw something on." lol.
Ajjas013 6
*Throws rocks at pendatic*
CallMeHush 1
Actually it is quite simple, if we like something we take care of it and keep it as long as we can, (ladies take note) This kind of made me laugh tho as I have some shirts that are well over 20 yrs old. They start as going out wear, then bumming around wear, sweats then become neckless/sleevless work out shirts and finally a work shirt. If I don't like it all that much it skip a few steps and goes to Goodwill.
perdix 31
aly627 #100, how about the classic: "Stop crying. You are NOT the worst I ever had!" All the girls use this one on me.
perdix 31
aly627, if you want to use that one, I am always available ;)
perdix 31
Well, if you look forward to consoling a crying man who is apologizing for poor performance, sure! I'm glad you are so excited, because that will only magnify the disappointment, thus giving your lying skills the biggest challenge.
Tamara2011 0
that's what you get but, you could make up another lie and say you recorded it unto your computer...
aback 5
Don't be a pathological liar. It won't get you what you want.
kaitlinQ 0
wow that's sad all these people are right and next ime lie about something more important gosh!!!!!