Today, I learned the true meaning of "throwing money down the toilet" when pulling my pants up, somehow my $100 Easter money fell out of my pocket mid flush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML
Today, I had to pee really badly. I rushed to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and sat on the toilet. After a few seconds of peeing, I realized I had only pulled down my pants. Not my underpants. FML
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I was fiddling with a ring my aunt hand made me, accidentally slipping it off, and dropped it in the toilet. Like an idiot, I scrambled to get it out only for my bending over to activate the automatic flush. FML
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML
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Top comments
imnotc00l 10
I wish I got 100$ for Easter.
PackardBell_fml 19
Try and use your front pocket first. Sorry bout that op
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Comments (86)
PackardBell_fml 19
Try and use your front pocket first. Sorry bout that op
dbt88 15
If OP is a girl, a lot of girls' pants don't have front pockets. It blows a lot sometimes.
nonsensical 26
I've learned to always empty my pockets before sitting on the toilet. OP has now learned as well. I'm sorry for your loss, OP
extrasnipes 22
"Okay, my wallet, phone, headphones, spare change, a pencil, some lint, pack of gum oh and my condom. Ah now I can shit."
JustTheTruth42 13
It's called a purse....I mean.....wait no. You're right. Man bag.
Isn't It Ironic? 24
Or you can do what my friend does and call it a "murse" man+purse=murse. :)
Alup132 22
It's called a satchel! (It's a reference.)
nonsensical 26
I have a purse (it doesn't matter but I'm a woman)--but sometimes it's easier to keep my phone in my pocket. Once I had to use the restroom and forgot I had it in there, needless to say it plopped right out (the phone). It didn't fall in the toilet but the screen did shatter!
EwahWeeWah 21
It's technically a purse... people just add "man" onto things so it doesn't sound feminine (i.e "man purse", "man washer" etc)
myGRAM 14
Where would one hire this "man washer"?
musoboy 22
I'm more confused as to why he flushed before pulling his pants up...
imnotc00l 10
I wish I got 100$ for Easter.
heavenality 2
and OP wishes they had it..
kevinfmls 12
I bet the person who made that saying had some sort of inspiration....
lolumadbrah 10
easter pocket money?! jesus christ! how's trump supposed to make america better than now!? btw, i'm sorry about your money, OP. Hope you sort it out somehow! ;)
heavenality 2
I swear there's dislike bots or something. there's no reason this should be disliked
S_Gnu 17
This is somewhat of a useful case for people who are weirdly preoccupied with viewing their dumps before flushing.
UserError94 18
There are dozens of us!! :(
Zebediabolical 45
In the early days of the graphical internet, I'm talking NCSA Mosaic 1.0, there was a website called 'Daily Dump'. It was exactly what it sounds like. Some random dude taking a picture of his daily dump and posting it to the internets.
captainsmegma 12
And some of us take pictures to share.
claudiajean 24
Anyone remember ratemypoo dot com?
sydnvy 15
All I get for Easter is ham....
booze_n_bitches 37
I got a rabbit stew.
uzumakinurto 13
there are these really cool inventions called wallets they tend to prevent that..
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Easter wasnt about the money anyway be thankful you have a family at this time of year.
missoops 21
Easter is as removed from religion as it is commercialised. I bet you're fun to drink with...
soulreaper12296 28
I don't think OP is upset about the fact that it was money from Easter, but that they literally flushed money down the toilet. They probably just added that it was from Easter so we'd have a little more info.
Tomryan279 10
I didn't realize how expansive it was to use the toilet!