Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Uh..well.. um....wow... I'm at a loss... FYL Some hobos are so territorial about their bathrooms.
perdix 31
Give the man a dollar to wipe with. And I mean a dollar bill. Giving him three quarters, four nickels and five pennies would be cruel.
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Comments (107)
JessiGoose 0
HAHAHA! xD One time, my friends and I were passing a hobo by a grocery store and he walked up to my friend and me, and got in our face and said, "Where am I question mark?" We laughed so hard we almost peed ourselves.
Rayn4u_fml 0
"You are probably a merciless bourgeois so YDI", not bourgeoisie. Bourgeoisie is a concept not a person. And also: "Vive LA revolution" Check google, wordreference or reverso before posting if you want to use foreign concepts :p
Ligerie 0
Woah! I thought to myself, I like this perdix guy. Now it all makes sense!
kyasinjr 0
i work in the DC farmers market i was sitting in my dads truck getting produce loaded when a female hobo took a dump right next to my tire! then she wiped herself and threw the paper in the car! FML
bsias4ever 0
I would have punched him in the face..then spit on him...
Dabamash 0
I would have thrown in a nutshot first, just to get the point across.
nd131262 0
Today, I learned the hard way that people must sit around all day coming up with fake FML's just to post. This one is not even partially funny, and extremely fakeee.
blastvortex 4
YDI for letting him chase you off. You should've chased him off. Step one, grow a spine. Step two, kick his ass the next time you catch him.
anonymous122 0
HAHAHAHA!! that made me laugh!!!
sara_mc 0
This is just... eww... lol... Whether its true or not... it's funny... Throw the word hobo or midget in a sentence, and it's instantly hillarious. Well done :)
Ohnothingreally 0
I don't get this.