Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs, some hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I'd told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML
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Top comments
Angeledice 0
Did you kick him in the balls? ^^
Philosophic 0
YDI for looking like an urinal.
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Comments (113)
curlgirl1311 0
ewww! that really sucks! :(
Frank155 5
It does, yes...
Philosophic 0
YDI for looking like an urinal.
The_Norwegian 2
WIN.
shadow33456 1
ydi for not letting him pee on you
Jdelakas 0
you let people pee on the subway? gosh silly yanks. here our subways are clean.
st0n333d 0
silly forginers we piss everywhere! besides we make up for good dental care and taxes ^_^. ( as of now till congress passes obamanations bill )
Prototype12 0
I had a 8-legged cow run after me once while it was still eating a 4 year old kid. True Story
woofis 0
hobos ftw
Cristaderzi 0
We dont let anything: Its just when those crazies pull a knife or gun then hey its not my subway after all so why should I die for it LOL
MetroidSlayer01 8
@35, are you by any chance suggesting that the fine users of fml would ever post a fake story? that is rediculous good sir.
princess09 3
what does ftw means?
princess09 3
lol I doubt it means that, but u still made me laugh :-)
princess09 3
oOo ok thanxx
bhangu023 0
o punch to the face is all it takes
TapeMan_3000 0
lol the british guy. no we don't "let" people do it, but stuff happens. that's like saying "in my country, we don't let people steal stuff, so it never happens cause they aren't allowed too!"
bbuba 0
@31 lol at obamanations bill
DonkeyDelight 0
31, I really hope you know that's a stereotype. The dental in other places than the States is absoloutely fine, you tart.
__ShAd0w__ 0
@35 epic
kmdfirefox 0
@13 LOL
dave666_fml 0
WIN #35
SeedlessMe 13
Yeah, sadly I knew it was NY before i looked.. Gotta love it, it's the city where there is NEVER a boring night out.
M4V3R1CKR13 0
did u get a 5 doller foot long all over ur face
deathcab7 0
ew . what a derranged fellow hobo. i would scream and run away! or kick him. whatever works :P
Raiden353 0
#13 epic win! Also maybe you should've peed on the hobo. That would've showed him!
llcooljoey 0
ydi for being silly :)
charlie_schmidt4 0
LOL
DisappearingRose 18
lmao 13
Mrfuzzypenguin11 0
Free Tinky Winky FTW!
jonmansheppard 9
kick him in the balls while you see them xD
JayJayAudy 0
first
ladyme_fml 0
yuck
epicfailburger 0
Today, I was sleeping and I suddenly woke up and had too pee. I pissed in the corner and I suddenly wanted to give the person there a hi five. as I was running towards them, I forgot to "put up my drawbridge"
sugarbabyxoxo 2
13 ftw
FMLydiLOL 0
36 ftw
Angeledice 0
Did you kick him in the balls? ^^
xXSc3n1cXx 0
that shoulda been the first thing to happen
AznWaffle8 0
If he did that, then it would fly EVERYWHERE... And who knows how dirty hobos can be?
Kamens 0
#73 WIN
MakaPaka_fml 0
did he pee ON you?
Rustbin 0
Because they are rebels and don't do that conformist stuff
Sirin_fml 47
I suspect the OP called the bum's grandmother a GILF, questioned his Hobo ancestry, smashed a vodka bottle over his own head, and things just followed on naturally from there. Hence, YDI. That or the trolls are out this morning.
SephoraSocialite 0
yeah the rebels think probably ydi you went into the subway. you're just ******* living your life out and shit happens out of your control- sorry OP but that definitely dampens the day specially if they peed on you.
evilpieboy 0
lol... dampens... lmao... ahhh thats such a terible pun but i still laughed at it
CYNNER 0
Nothing like getting a golden shower on the subway. (^.^)
shakenbake93 0
Don't you just love the crazy hobos.