Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Uh..well.. um....wow... I'm at a loss... FYL Some hobos are so territorial about their bathrooms.
perdix 31
Give the man a dollar to wipe with. And I mean a dollar bill. Giving him three quarters, four nickels and five pennies would be cruel.
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Comments (107)
sadistmonkey 19
Just kidding.
kayC7 0
Why did you go up to him if you knew he was doing poo? Sorry, but that's just stupid. This would be the homeless man's FML: Today, a fellow hobo watched me as I pooed. FML
aquarius6 0
#21 too funny!
Intoxicunt 6
We all know, dear.
cheetahboo2010 5
Hello? You TOTALLY should leave hobos alone when they poop by your car. Where else would they?! :P
FarSide 23
By YOUR car. You obviously would not care.
skyeyez9 25
it was me. I crapped next to your car..... damn colitis.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
I thought that was cleared up, like, 2 weeks ago.....
asafetybuzz 0
dude. he was taking a shit in public. that's not cool, homeless or not. there are definitely public restrooms to take ***** in.
ElNegroHombre 0
I hate these today I learned ones there not even funny
TheOtherNewest1 6
Pfft. You shouldn't have walked into his bathroom while he was taking a shit. Not cool, man.