Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Uh..well.. um....wow... I'm at a loss... FYL Some hobos are so territorial about their bathrooms.
perdix 31
Give the man a dollar to wipe with. And I mean a dollar bill. Giving him three quarters, four nickels and five pennies would be cruel.
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Comments (107)
rinrinn22 0
ahh shit, the comments on this are more funny than your FML
perdix 31
Leave the guy alone. He was just at the start of a first date.
w26l32 0
I'm sorry but I had to laugh. Just, the mental image.
scateice 0
******* Hobos. I saw one pissing in the grass in front of everyone..... Get your own damn bathroom stupid hobos.
allmidnighteyes 11
At least he wasn't ******** on your car
perdix 31
Give the man a dollar to wipe with. And I mean a dollar bill. Giving him three quarters, four nickels and five pennies would be cruel.
sirknz 0
Well of course if you're walking and pooping at the same time it might annoy some people.
Mauskau 36
For some reason, I imagined the "GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM!" line being yelled by Arnold Schwarzenegger. And for that sole reason, this is favourited because it made it so much funnier.
Mauskau 36
and yes, that is the one and only in my pic. ;)
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Oh god, oh god, oh god!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!! Why o why did I have to be so curious!?!?
brianjman14 23
u shulda been like yo this my car beotch and then shove him outta way and get in ur car and drive
Bloodknight 22
LMFAO @ Perdix, bwahaha! The comments are the only reason I come to this site anymore. ;)