Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
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Top comments
courtneyburgessx 18
Seems like you must have a very dangerous weapon down there
johnjkl 22
I guess your dick was just to big to be taken on the plane
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Comments (86)
kalbrek009 20
Man of steel?
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
maybe you were too excited by the guy
urbanbigfoot 20
Man I bet it's them balls of steel.
hahahaha123123 10
Concealed weapon - interesting
YEROCnamrus 3
Sounds to me like you're just hiding your drugs well.
DemonBoy1988 22
This is how the famous quote was born "Is that a gun in your pocket ? ....."
guardian1995 8
Balls of steel xD
peterj96 11
Had that happen over my heart and dead center in my upper back, I think I was more concerned about it than they were, I was wearing a thin shirt so he lightly rubbed over the two areas with two fingers n let me go but I had to sit there and stare at the monitor until the next person got in and it changed. Apparently my mom had the same thing happen on the same day but we were in different terminals. I'm still kinda wigged wondering wtf that is in there