Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I’m the latest learner of the lesson that, however desperate one is for relief from both, it is wrong to take sleeping pills (for insomnia) and laxatives (for constipation) on the same night. I'd have been fine alone. The catch is a night of pooping as I slept taught my guy that I’m bad to sleep with. FML
Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML
Today, I learned a valuable life lesson : Never attempt to swallow your pills with a swig of hot tea. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML
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Top comments
lad088 0
why would you even try that in the first place?
erikjh1234 0
u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao
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Comments (147)
marc_with_a_c 3
I read something fairly similar to that few days ago.. about some person's mom putting laxative in their food, and them taking a sleeping pill? either way you suck for taking both at the same time..
ladidalisa 0
I'm pretty sure I saw that too.
antiprettysin 0
Yeeeah, I don't actually believe this. I've done this, and either the laxative has taken 8+ hours to work, or i've just woken up to use the bathroom, and fallen asleep again easily.
shananigans 0
Why would that even seem remotely like a good idea in the first place? The point of a laxative is to make you go poo. The point of a sleeping pill is to make you sleep. Obviously you wouldn't want to do both at the same time, unless you meant to go to sleep on the toilet- so why take both pills at the same time? Just a little lesson in common sense and logic...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Thanks for explaining to us what laxatives and sleeping pills do, I honestly had no idea that a sleeping pill helps you go to sleep, I guess you learn new things everyday.
aardvarkish 17
We just had the exact same FML, as if it were a prank.
dunni786 0
Ive heard of ******** your pants....but ******** your bed..well done.
Phirr 0
Just take a nice nap on the toilet ;)
MGOBLUE1 0
haven't laughed at an fml like this in a long time.
dance_till_dawn 0
I call bullshit! I have a favorite quotes page and this is on it. OP, it's called plagiarism. Look it up. This did not happen to you.
aback 5
Sounds like you had a great night's rest. Kind of a brown sunrise, though.
upintheorange 5
I think this is a joke i've heard.