novaguy
United States
Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Ace in the hole
Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML
Anonymous
Mascotte, United States
Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor, even if you have a C-section. FML
Meagan Ortiz
Wardrobe change please
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Discipl
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Waterloo, Canada
Eat more fibre
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
anna14
United States
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Anonymous
Self-own
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Sick Guy
Boynton Beach, United States
*buys case of Listerine*
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Korea Republic of
Bad sandwich, bad week
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
loveinanelevator
Downhill
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Top comments
Enslaved 38
Coughed your ass off?
Tyrez 32
Maybe if you sneeze it will go back where it belongs.
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Comments (45)
jordaandanielle 17
Pop! Goes the weasel.
ohSNAPyall 27
Poop goes the weasel.
Krispies_fml 17
Oh god! Pain in the ass!!!
aubamas 20
cough once more and your hemorrhoids might bleed you to death
kissandcontrol01 20
How would I prevent this..? Any ideas?
starile 20
Don't choke on your food and keep your damn coughs under control.
starile 20
Option 2: keep your shit together
alliegraywords 13
Well... still better than choking to death, OP.
PrincessZelda_HR 22
My mom cracked a rib from coughing once, and until now that seemed like the worst coughing-related incident I've ever heard; thanks for the new standard OP, hope you're doing better
Narianos 9
That happened to my granduncle when he was younger. He had the flu and cracked one of his ribs during a cough.
Narianos 9
A cough is a very unpredictable beast. It could be a simple cough just trying to clear your throat, and next thing you know that cough just fractured two of your ribs.
HighasaCloud 46
Better than coughing so hard you collapse a lung