Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Yelling through it
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Back on the wagon
Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
Help
Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML
Poot
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I've known for ages
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
*buys case of Listerine*
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Leaked
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Top comments
notsocommonsense 1
well at least you learned to use a smaller coin next time you decide to be an idiot
Ajjas013 6
That's RICH HAHAHAHA. I know, I fail :(
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Comments (195)
Ajjas013 6
That's RICH HAHAHAHA. I know, I fail :(
thor89 0
You poooped money Hooooraaaayyyy
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Nice edit there! Only I will know your trolling ways. Pahaha :P
Ajjas013 6
I just wanted to be first :P I don't have anything witty to say yet, stick around and I might figure it out.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
I'll keep an eye out :P lol
tweetbaby14 18
I ate a quarter too!!!! ha when I was five
reyemrein 0
make a bet of weather it will land on heads or tails when it finally falls out
majones 0
A quarter of what? Pie?
reyemrein 0
idk if you are kidding or not, but a quarter as in the unit of money. It's a coin that is worth 25 cents.
GirlWithAnItouch 0
I hope they were kidding. that's realy...stupid.
reyemrein 0
They could be from another country.
whitley1031 0
I'm sure that person was kidding about the "quarter of pie?" thing. not many ppl provide an example when guessing an unknown object
Sonfang 19
wow ummm I'd say you have IDIOT tattooed on your forehead...that is not only a stupid thing to do but also potentially harmful to your health...not only to your digestive system but to the rest of your body...hrm you totally ******* deserve it! pssst: maybe you should think where it's been before you eat it....slot machines, shoes, pockets, in the dirt, bathroom floors...etc use your head next time. Kay thanx bye!
fmlsoobad 0
atleast now you can say to people you can poop money, and next thing you know yur a millionare
lostfaithinpppl 19
Completely agree with Sonfang. OP, that quarter could have been pulled out of an ass of another moron like you before you put it in your mouth.
yaboiiwill 3
that had to suck
WiiLLyiZSiCkk 0
lmao lmao
harryman04 0
karma is a Bitch
Riyu55 0
Now when people say" what? you think money comes out my ass?" you can have a snappy remark...btw fail
supastarr 0
if I was u I would of ate a dollar bill instead
_swimcutie_ 0
#60..I love you. LMAO and OP..u r just a fail and a dumbass.
1337_RoXxXor 4
@60: ooh, that reminds me of a game my classmates used to play...they would put their Hands on the table and try to fling a coin with highest possible speed at one anothers hand, just to hurt them...quite a stupid thing for itself, but imagined they used THAT coin...well i'm not quite sure if disgusting is still a sufficient word for that
dude247 0
a quarter for a dare? not even a bet your dumb FYL
toxic10uhc 0
not to mention nickle poisoning...
idkweird 0
#159, a quarter isn't made from nickel. OP: They should probably do a CT and a colonoscopy to make sure the quarter didn't make any tears in your intestines! You're such an idiot. Then again, it's nothing new to a doctor. When I worked in Radiology, we saw stupid people like you all the time.
Alicia_Raven7 0
Goodness, does no one have common sense?
FernandoTorres_fml 0
I'm sure he believed you, whatever you told him. ;)
Eddie_Paints 0
Today I was almost done with my shift at a local hospital,when this idiot arrived claiming not to know how a 25 cent piece became lodged in his anus! Knowing it was a stupid prank, I told the intern to use the largest speculum we had to removed it. It was everything I could do not to howl with laughter while he screamed in pain!!
daniisme 0
have you not heard of recycling?
MileyCyrusIsHot 5
you're sick.
Sheebz 0
stupid :-/
garuru 4
today a patient came over to my office and explained to me how he ate a quarter and it is stuck i am a dentist. FML
ninafea 0
Fail^
isabelle99_fml 0
ouch
notsocommonsense 1
well at least you learned to use a smaller coin next time you decide to be an idiot
afatmonkey 0
Larger coins make for a much more enthralling experiance, though.
shananigans 0
Or maybe they should just... NOT eat coins at all?
AceofSpades21 0
did your parents give you a penny for your thoughts lol way to go genius
Freeze_fml 17
They say money is the among the dirtiest things in the world..
cypherzzz 0
you deserve a Darwin award!!:) LOL
nirenna 6
wow...
Darwinawardwinne 0
Isn't destroying legal US tender a federal offense? Say hello to Guantanamo, serves you right, trying to cause inflation as if we don't have enough of a financial situation...
ndiesal 0
Destroying legal tender would cause the opposite of inflation - ddflation
ramencrusade 0
if you were rich, it would of came out as a dollar.
thatsoviciouS 0
That is plain stupid to do... unless it was for like 50 bucks
crimewc 0
dumb?
CleanSheets 0
. . .
shananigans 0
That's still stupid cuz the doctor probably charged him more than 50 bucks to remove the quarter.