novaguy
United States
Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Ace in the hole
Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML
Anonymous
Mascotte, United States
Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor, even if you have a C-section. FML
Meagan Ortiz
Wardrobe change please
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Discipl
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Waterloo, Canada
Eat more fibre
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
anna14
United States
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Anonymous
Self-own
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Sick Guy
Boynton Beach, United States
*buys case of Listerine*
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Korea Republic of
Bad sandwich, bad week
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
loveinanelevator
Downhill
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Top comments
Enslaved 38
Coughed your ass off?
Tyrez 32
Maybe if you sneeze it will go back where it belongs.
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Comments (45)
Enslaved 38
Coughed your ass off?
Frillwee95 12
His ass is still intact, it's just taking the game of peekaboo to a hole new level.
EatUrGreens 20
Coughed the shit out of him*
Tyrez 32
Maybe if you sneeze it will go back where it belongs.
devildog562 33
Huh I've seen sneezing , coughing is s new one though. That's goin to be a pain in the ass.
eksyneet 23
at least you didn't choke, man. could be worse.
beararm 11
That's exactly wat he did actually
sweetbliss3 37
maybe he meant continue to choke, and die?
eksyneet 23
#14, as in, choke to death. that's an important addition i forgot to make. regret is washing over me rn.
nesteremily 31
So sorry OP, I hope you feel better. On the upside you didn't choke to death.
False_Stupidity 42
Exactly, then OP would be in a coffin, not just coughin'
starile 20
#6, with that profile pic, you *kind of* have the responsibility to make all your comments sound like Yoda. I mean... come on.
AcieMcG 21
Today I learned that long distance runners tend to poop their pants, so at least that didn't happen.
ashingtondc 3
it's true always take a dump before a race
911lady 4
Um... Ew?
Steve95401 49
This brings new meaning to "Roid Rage".
watermelon15 35
Yuck!
brandoneyez1 25
Lucky you didn't crap urself.
patrickalamo 48
Down Down Down, like a burning ring of fire.