Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML
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Top comments
zombiepeanut 0
That's total abuse of power.
skullbuster 0
So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...
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Comments (402)
thatonekid2010 0
How is this an FML?
ithedarkknight 0
um its probably an fml because he got arrested you idiot... cops are dicks in blue suits who over abuse there authority and people wonder why people hate cops personally im not a fan of the popo either but i cant judge every single cop to be the same... but the majority of them is dicks in blue suits
Guairdean 0
That question is only asked if the officer is on a fishing expedition. If an officer is justified in searching your car, he won't ask. He'll handcuff you, read you your rights, and get a warrant. If you feel you were treated unfairly, file a complaint with internal affairs. Don't contact his supervisor. Once you contact his supervisor, internal affairs won't touch it until his supervisor has addressed the issue. His supervisor will probably sweep it under the rug and write it up to show that action was taken. Internal affairs will accept this and mark it as resolved. Internal affairs will actually do something.
Paige_Nicole10 0
actually i cop speak this means: yes sir/mam i have something to hide. so im making your day just a little bit harder by making you get a search warrent to search, when in reality im just dragging this thing out for possibly an hour when it could take only a few minutes of both of our time, so i will prolong my time outside of jail. dude your an idiot and they most likely had probable cause in the first place.
Guairdean 0
No, it means: "No officer, I don't want everything in my car spread across the side of the road while you hunt for something we both know isn't there. I don't have time to reassemble my car while you drive off looking for someone else to harass just so you have a nice entry on your daily report."
Guairdean 0
Actually, it means: "No officer, I don't want the contents of my vehicle spread across the side of the road. I don't want to have to reassemble my belongings (and replace the ones you destroyed) while you drive away in search of someone else to harass. I don't want to do this just so you can have a good entry on your daily report."
Rixxieee 0
See, over here if you consent to a police search then it is considered voluntary and since a search can't be voluntary, it is considered illegal. Unless they take you to the police station of course, but on the street they can't do it and as long as you give them no reason to arrest you then you can walk free.
turmeric 0
I agree with other commenters in saying that the statement, "Officer, I do not consent to any searches," does not allow the officer to reasonably suspect that the person is up to any sort of criminal activity. Some form of /physical/ proof is needed, in actuality. I find it abhorrent that a person would be detained for declaring his rights. But just for future reference, it might be best only to use this statement in response to a request by the officer to search your car, rather than saying it outright. The FML doesn't give many details, but did the guy ever even search his car and find anything illegal? To be handcuffed just for that statement is blatant abuse in my opinion.
holagirl2 0
same thing happened to my boyfriend. he was just sitting in his car with his friend on the side of the road. a cop came over and asked for his license. The cop then says, can i search your car, and my boyfriend says, um no. the cop then handcuffs him and stuffs him in the back of the cop car....and continues to search his car. the police is the most corrupt thing EVER
mobius8 0
148 - "Unreasonable" seizures of person. It wasn't unreasonable. It was legal. I'm not going to convince you it's constitutional(it is) as well as legal, but you can't argue with the fact that not being able to arrest someone for refusing a search would be ridiculous, and there's not really any alternative. You just admitted the cop most likely had a probable cause, but you're going to assume the very unlikely situation of the cop not having probable cause regardless? That's... incredibly stupid and senseless. There are many reasons the OP would leave the fact there was probably cause out of his story and none that I can think of that would explain him not including his complete innocence.
cheesesoda 0
"Unreasonable" means searches without warrant, probable cause, or consent. It's not Constitutional. You cannot detain someone without trying to obtain a warrant. You can't detain a warrant without probable cause. Therefore, you can't detain someone without probable cause. It's just that simple. Yes, I can argue with that fact. Without probable cause, it's absolutely ludicrous to suggest a cop still being capable of detaining the person. Also, it's even MORE ludicrous to suggest that the cop is capable of ARRESTING the individual without probable cause. Yes, I admitted that there was likely a probable cause, but without the evidence, I will not assume guilt. I, unlike most, prefer to support the idea of "innocent until proven guilty."
SarahDC 0
Wtf did you think would happen? If a cop wants to search your car, he's going to search your car. It seems like a lot of people on this site are very niave..
cheesesoda 0
Oops, double post.
kionnalexus 0
It would, they always hear what they want to hear.