Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Small world
Today, I learned that my current boss took my fiancé's virginity back in high school. FML
Who's been a naughty girl?
Today, I found out I’m the guy whose wife made adult films in college. Although embarrassed, I thought I may be able to get past it. Except for the fact that we dated in college, and she insisted we wait until after we were married to have sex. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
The truth
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss's wife. I work for my parents. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Trust
Today, I found out from some guy that he and my wife had been having an affair for over year. She confessed to everything, and said they had already broken it off. She also admitted that she would've never mentioned it to me if I'd never found out on my own. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Gotcha
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Top comments
steve31789 8
College don't pay for itself!
isallwaysme 27
well you gotta get through college somehow, at least its better than being a prostitute
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Comments (144)
LizetteBerenice 22
Awkward.
isallwaysme 27
that's why its on FML.
daniel_0084 14
Have her put on a show for you.
xlord 27
#17 Only difference is the tip he gives her will be a different kind.
TheCanucklehead 22
#100 yeah, he's gonna tip...her over and send her flying to the ground, cause she owes him money. Op will be stuck in a long legal fight. Good luck
salazara 10
Book her
finalfantasyftw 10
@106. Wtf?
Bcfrmkc816 17
Maybe you'll get a promotion from it. It's only awkward if he slept with her
steve31789 8
College don't pay for itself!
jessBeAqueen 13
exactly. desperate times calls for desperate measures. just for the sake of diffusing the situation a bit, hopefully she was doing it for good reason like in the example above. sucks that you had to find out in such a manner. she should have told you this a lot sooner but at least she isnt doing it anymore right ? .....that you know of. just dont be to harsh and judge her by her past.
then000bster 16
Doesn't*...
MerrikBarbarian 9
19- that's a pretty... Harsh image of strippers. A good friend of mine strips because she loves it. She does burlesque and loves thinking up creative new performances. I wouldn't mind doing it once I'm a bit fitter again. It isn't just desperate people who strip. Some people legit enjoy the job... Which if they do pole dance? That is one hell of a work out too! I hope you think personal happiness and a job you like is a good reason.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I agree with you, 94. One of my friends always brags to me about how much money she makes in just a weekend compared to my weekly pay. She has 2 little girls to feed so she needs the money. I've never looked down on her for it and I have no damn reason to. A job is a job, be it dancing in a skimpy outfit or doing carpentry. It shouldn't matter.
Mr_Loudmouth 9
It's not dancing in a skimpy outfit. It's dancing while getting NAKED in front of strangers. Not that I'm against it. Just correcting you. Continue to thumb me down now.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
its degrading and tacky. disagree with me all u like...but people try making it sound fun and cool..but a bunch of pervs watching me get naked doesnt sound appealing.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I don't know the rules of strip clubs but I'm sure you can just dance in a revealing outfit rather than full bare ass naked. Of course you'd get more tips with your lady parts out but I don't know if its a requirement. One of buddies had a little person grab a dollar out of his mouth using nothing but her cooch. I think I'd rather stick a 5 in a g string than that shit happen to me. Interesting story though..
jessBeAqueen 13
94- what did I say that was so harsh ? I have stripper friends and dont judge them.I actually want to work in the **** industry (calm your ****....behind cameras) I agree that a job is a job and I think that loving what you do is a good enough reason to keep a job. clearly op doesn't agree cus then he wouldn't be posting an fml about it and neither does the wife cus then she wouldn't have felt the need to keep it from op. paying for college was just an example that makes more sense in their situation.....strippers strip. meaning they take thier clothes off. otherwise its called burlesque or go go dancing.
jessBeAqueen 13
oh and I didnt imply that all strippers are desperate. she clearly isnt proud of her stripping days so there had to have been other deeper motives aside from just loving her job. 116- no one is trying to make it look cool as much your trying to make it look degrading.....everyones gotta earn a livingone way or another.
MerrikBarbarian 9
120- yes the idea strippers are all desperate, that a normal healthy woman couldn't actually want to be a stripper, was what I found harsh. As some of the other comments have shown there is a very negative view of those in the industry. 116- like many people you have been brain washed by your culture that sex and nudity are shameful things. Spend some time in anthropology learning about other cultures where it's seen as a natural positive thing. Most cultures in the world do not share the western/judeo-Christian view of sex and the body. It's seen as something to be celebrated not shunned. Not everyone likes the same things, and some people enjoy stripping. Grow up and get other the fact not everyone thinks like you.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
122... u think the men who go to these strip clubs are there to celebrate the womens beautiful bodies? im not the one in denial. most people dont view it as art... they view it as a party, having a good time, getting out of the house and seeing some boobs.
venus89 17
At least he didn't ask her to put on a show :/
isallwaysme 27
well you gotta get through college somehow, at least its better than being a prostitute
subiedude08 17
Being a stripper is like being a prostitute these days it's considered trashy
isallwaysme 27
yes and no. it IS trashy, but id rather have a wife that used to be a stripper, than a wife that ****** half the guys in the country for money.
lulubelles 33
27 how about this: A wife who had stripped in front of loads of men, or a wife who only slept with one man repeatedly for money?
MacMonster 10
@59, Strippers usually sleep with whoever pays them, not just one man.
Since1998 20
59, prostitution is a lot more than just repeatedly sleeping with one man. You do it with multiple men, maybe even more than just one a night. Girls vags get used, and imagine the thought of having been used for sex. The difference here is that as a stripper, you never have to actually get rid of the bra and underwear, unless you want to. Its breaking rules if you do, meaning its your choice. Also, a good sum of men just go to strippers just to talk, meaning they dont actually have to lap dance. Honestly strippers aren't that slutty
lulubelles 33
65, 66 what are you two on about? My question was just a poser for #27, who said he'd rather have a stripper wife than a prostitute wife.
Enslaved 38
I believe 59 (though I could be wrong) is asking about-- a kept woman or someone along the lines of a mistress. She only has one client that supports her.
love_me_electric 20
66 - What kind of strip clubs to you go to were the strippers aren't allowed to take off their bra/panties? I've only been to a strip club once, and all of them took off their bra and a few took off their underwear.
Since1998 20
I apologize for being ill-informed. I just remembered other FMLs regarding similar situations, and the comments all together helped me compile mine. Sorry, should have let someone with more experience handle the comments. Thank you for correcting me though!
MrsAlexander83 10
I use to work in a strip club as a waitress and I had to quit because it was degrading for me to watch them be abused. I say that because one scenario was I watched some guys come in close to closing time and were showing some cash, so they ran over there to of course get the last of the money they could for the evening. Long story short, the night ended with them throwing the dollar bills on the floor and making them all scram to pick it up. It was like watching hungry wolves fight over a meal. They said to them, "that's right bitches...pick up that dolla". So between watching that, most of them getting completely drunk/strung out on some kind of illegal substance in the bathroom, or being completely raging lunatics--I only lasted 3 weeks. Oh and the rules of clothing are completely dependent on your state laws. Here the bottoms have to stay on, tops can be off but the nipples have to be covered in some kind of liquid latex.
roro_superloser 13
Silver lining. Uve got professional strip dances coming your way.
oyemba 6
No more visits to the strip club coz u got an ex stripper at home.
pokemonchick14 12
In a way I feel pretty sorry for the wife. She was probably trying to just forget about it and move on, which is why she didn't tell you. That's giving her the benefit of the doubt though. Either way just sounds like a terribly awkward situation.
emuexport 4
Well, she obviously left a very lasting impression !!!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Yeah I imagine that your wife struggled for money in college, she wouldn't be the only one, and that she is not proud of what she's done to sustain herself (although I'd say fair play to her because it must take a lot of guts to do that so you can afford your education). I'm with #7 on the fact that her not telling you probably means she wanted to forget about it and was maybe afraid you would judge her. Your boss is a dick though. Even if he assumed that you knew about it, he could have been a gentleman and kept quiet about it.
jwebster 8
This is right. I would never call out one of my customers in public. And, I would probably hurt one that did so to me. That is just an unwritten rule for strippers.
tigersman1c 19
BooHoo you have a hot wife, and you have a dumb ass boss. If you really love her just laugh it off and maybe some day she will give you a private show.
buddy51 23
C'mon, OP, what's the problem here? If Weiner's and Spitzer's wives can maintain calm and chive on, I suspect that you can too- hard to work up a lot of sympathy for you- a hot wife and a blackmail angle on your boss. Buck up, OP, and smell the roses!!