Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML
Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML
Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zaku2capt 1
Sexy catfight at a gas station? At least snacks are close by.
cmihran 1
Well at least you didn't actually get your ass kicked, could of been worse.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
AustiinP 0
That moment calls for you to look at the guy and say, "You deserve better, sorry you have to live with that, wish you the best!"
jedielf 23
you spelled the world "girl" wrong :P
OoLogicalOo 4
pixelebrate 0
38- someone needs Engrish classes. yeah I spelled that wrong -_-
jedielf 23
Damn! Shoulda edited.
xx255q 0
That hot
loveexgirl 15
You. Not. Hot.
BigMacBoi 3
32: You. Are. Hot.
frankwolf86 0
thats funny... but the guy is a douche having a gf and asking a random chick her phone number in front of her... tsk tsk
AustiinP 0
definitely should've made it a little more secretive right?
cowsgomooatyou 8
Meh I wouldn't worry about it, it's probably made up any way.
cowsgomooatyou 8
Ooh my first moderated comment! Ah, today is a good day.
loveexgirl 15
That's why you don't stare at an attractive man at the gas station.
pixelebrate 0
While pumping gas to yo' ass.
jacksonclarke 0
Course you do. She could've gotten a shag until dumb bitch girlfriend turned up.
T552 12
You're lucky you never got to know a guy like that. What sort of man chats up another woman asking for her number when his girlfriends in the car? Scum.
birdfreak 24
So why can't the chick pump her own car? And its completely obvious who wears the pants in that relationship. I understand what the term means but if anyone knows how they came up with it, do tell. Term: "who wears the pants in the relationship"
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Who says it was the girl's car? Perhaps the guy and the girl were coming home, and he stopped for gas.
birdfreak 24
Sorry now I feel stupid didn't think about it like that
jessesgirl14 16
It was a term used when it was uncommon for women to wear pants (they only wore dresses/skirts) if a woman was domineering it was said that she wore the pants in a relationship.... Meaning she was the boss of they house
birdfreak 24
85-thanks very helpful
stevenmx86 8
I never understood that... It's not your fault he's not single and still asked for your number... She should kick his ass..
sparklecherry 4
True, true.
pfx2_fml 15
Maybe you could turn it into a three way
xXshadowrollerXx 6
But OP never actually gave her number, so they couldn't have a three way on the phone. Maybe you're thinking of a threesome? If so.. I'm intrigued.
loveexgirl 15
Yeaahh 20 you wroonngg.
pixelebrate 0
pffffftttt 3way? wow. it's threesome bud.
pfx2_fml 15
Oh whatever, three some, I'm ******* tired
pfx2_fml 15
Oh whatever, three some, I'm ******* tired
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Same difference. Geez.
androiddestroya 7
pfx2, why does every comment of yours make you look like an ass?
VJM_BFF 0
Lmao then whoop that bitchs ass no one told her to pick a jackass for a bf. Shit it ain't your fault!!!!!
bananaburger 0
No shirts let's get it on!