Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML
Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML
Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
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Top comments
zaku2capt 1
Sexy catfight at a gas station? At least snacks are close by.
cmihran 1
Well at least you didn't actually get your ass kicked, could of been worse.
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Comments (129)
komptonassterry 1
this is a major WIN!!!!!
javierb88 3
****!
lulzmylife 4
She should have been threatening to kick *his* ass, not yours. What a blatant dick, to ask for another woman's number right in front of his freakin' girlfriend. Hope she dumped him as soon as they got home.
smileyysss 0
well, is your ass kicked? i didn't think so..
bubblez1108 0
I would've cussed her out and said "really?! You're gonna get mad at ME?! He's the one that asked for my number b***h!"
balljoints 8
The lesson to be learned here might be to have a peek around the passenger's side of the car to see if the subject is accompanied before making an ass out of yourself, out of him, and everyone else? By the way, if he's already with a girl and asking you for your phone number, you wouldn't want to try anything "long term" with him would you?
alexicanaaa 7
It's funny how she wants to kick your butt, but he's the one who asked for your number and stared back. Girls like that make us look ridiculous.
rainbowteehee 6
If she saw her boy friend asking a nother women for her number, his ass would be kicked not you'reS.
KingBrewster 6
That's why you do that to guys with sport bikes like me, pretty obvious if they're with someone atm...
gingerface81 16
Is this real life?