Today, I shat myself at work. To get home, I have to take two buses with a 20-minute wait in-between. So yes everyone, I'll be 'Shit Girl' for the next two hours, and probably behind my back at work for the rest of my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
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Top comments
rotflqtms_ 21
You can't ask someone to stop at a store and buy new pants for you? Or if need be, go to said store? Better to be shit girl in a store for a short while than to be shit girl for 2+ hours and walking about. Everyone at work knows already anyway, so can't hurt to ask someone to buy you something to wear. (You'd be buying it but they'd be going to the store)
RichardPencil 32
I see you're in Cleveland. You're probably going to have to leave Baker Mayfield and the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. You'll do fine in Toledo as it is an even shittier city and you'll blend right in, Shit Girl.
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Comments (3)
rotflqtms_ 21
You can't ask someone to stop at a store and buy new pants for you? Or if need be, go to said store? Better to be shit girl in a store for a short while than to be shit girl for 2+ hours and walking about. Everyone at work knows already anyway, so can't hurt to ask someone to buy you something to wear. (You'd be buying it but they'd be going to the store)
RichardPencil 32
I see you're in Cleveland. You're probably going to have to leave Baker Mayfield and the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. You'll do fine in Toledo as it is an even shittier city and you'll blend right in, Shit Girl.
metroido 21
Yeah, I would quit that job. It’s just not worth it.