Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that I'm allergic to a particular brand of tampon. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML
Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML
Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML
Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML
Today, I was mugged while changing my tampon. The mugger took everything, including the fresh tampon. FML
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Top comments
ILoveFluttershy 3
I think the fact that you have a cold while in your period sucks enough.
yoursucklives 36
i can only imagine the pain. i'm sorry for you and your burning ******!
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Comments (171)
sofckinwidit 0
Oooh that sucks!
Drew167 8
No shit or it wouldn't be on here thank you captain obvious.
eddeeezzyy 19
Why does everyone post that when thats the reason why it's on fml?
SenselessPattern 12
Spitting out the first emotion that comes to you does not qualify as a life-changing first comment. Effort is not the enemy. ;D
FMLshark 12
Ah, the excitement that overpowers FML users and somehow forces them to make stupid, thoughtless comments that take little to no effort to be creative, funny or informative. As for you, OP, I'm sorry about your burning lady parts. Wash it off with some Tabasco-- er, water. Nice, clean water.
SenselessPattern 12
Me and the shark are in agreement here. No one can stop us now, except DocBastard possibly. But he is busy excavating rectums for foreign objects and other surgeon-isk activities. *Evil laugh, then snicker, then quiet chuckle, then back to laugh*
ManInTheMachine 20
25-Read my profile. The horror! FMLShark: We're still suffering casualties? Damn, I was hoping the funeral yesterday would be the last for a while. Looks like we're gonna need to start digging mass graves.
FMLshark 12
34, the ocean is big enough. Just toss them into the water. I'll take care of the rest. R.I.P, FML commenters.
ManInTheMachine 20
36-I'll keep that in mind. I'm not sure how good they'll taste compared to others, though, as their brains will be smaller than average. Still up for it?
conqueror57 11
Duh,them snickers peanut butter squares first.
Danny0522 8
6- we all realize the mistake. However, if you are not going to point it out in a clever and sarcastic manner, then please leave.
mffp 9
Wrong sort of rub...
thesubconscious 9
Just like hot sauce and guys...
FMLshark 12
18, I'm pretty sure that hot sauce would burn both a penis and a ****** just as badly. Just a thought.
spekledworf 18
Trojan's Fire and Ice. Worse than hot sauce.
AKGirlinSD 20
My vag just shivered and not in the good way :-/. I guess that would be equivalent of a dude putting Icy/Hot on his dick. Yikes!
veghead497 7
I'm a chick and the same thing happened to me as with your Vick's rub, except it was with the icy-hot....I would not recommend it.
yoursucklives 36
i can only imagine the pain. i'm sorry for you and your burning ******!
The_Tool1 13
I'm not going to lie MzDisturbedOne, the thoughts wandered into my mind once or twice.
rockaroths 15
54 - wait a minute, I'm not suppose to stick tampons up my ass?
Srry4urLife 4
Definitely wasn't OP's best idea.
TisForSaleena 1
I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure that you're supposed to always wash hands before touching things down there.
ReesieBanana21 12
54-Never know. I hear guys just LOVE that feeling.. *awkward silence*
qwerty123456789o 14
Where did you get that?
ILoveFluttershy 3
I think the fact that you have a cold while in your period sucks enough.
GothicAngel17 24
The only thing worse is having a cold or flu while pregnant, especially since you can't take anything to ease the symptoms
me234 7
I had a horrid cold the first time I got my period.
cheetahbaby96 8
I had two lumbar punctures, a blood patch, and threw up six times when I started my first period... You guys got off easy haha
agm77 9
68- They have flu shots for pregnant women now! I got one when I was pregnant and I was the only one in my whole family who didn't get sick (besides morning sickness, of course).
smilepatrol 7
Why wouldn't you wash your hands after getting them all gross with the vapor rub? YDI
KrazieKleo 13
Maybe she wasn't well enough to get up and wash her hands? Could be bed ridden. Idk just a thought lol
KM96 24
Well, vix is very strong, like nail polish and how you can still taste it on your hands after washing thoroughly. This is the same sort of scenario. Except, it's not the painful taste ...
ManInTheMachine 20
You can taste it...on your hands? Now I feel like an underdeveloped Neanderthal. *Walks away with club and animal skin in shame*
annagilbert 6
7. so she changed her tampon in bed?
CaliyCat 1
Says the girl who has a fake hand gun to her head, yeah really cool...
riax 9
if it's that strong then isnt there more reason to wash your hands after handling the vix, and less reason to forget? I don't understand why ppl are thumbing 5 down, she definitely has a point!
shannonjnae2706 0
Um, ouch.
Kajol123 5
Oh come on, is that all? "Um, Ouch" is such a bland sympathy...you could've used the effort to comment with a little more zeal. The FML's are fun to read, but so should be the comments.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Being funny and lighthearted doesn't always work. I find myself getting thumbed down when I sympathize with the OP or I make a lighthearted joke.
what_ever2007 11
Same here, 124, I even got thumbed down for laughing at someone else's joke that got rated up! Who knows -- I wouldn't take the negative ratings too seriously; some of them just don't make sense!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
And I hate when I get thumbed down for correcting spelling. I don't understand. I've only been commenting for a short time, but I've read and comment-watched for YEARS.
shannonjnae2706 0
I wrote this comment at like four a.m. I was barely awake, and just wanted to throw in my two cents. That's all.
what_ever2007 11
Don't worry about it. :) There will always be someone who will find a reason to criticize.
bmkc4 1
It's ok what you said in your comment. Others are jealous because you commented first
shannonjnae2706 0
Thanks, y'all. :)
Drizzelhell 3
Burning sensations anyone. I sorry tho that must be awful hopefully it doesn't happen.
Aspen_Grace33 27
Am I missing something?! It's already happened, which is why there is an fml in the first place!!
KrustyKrap 5
Wow Aspen grace, how do u know he didn't mean to say "hope it doesn't happen again"?
wenwenno 4
Well you'll forget about that cold with all that burning going on.
sweetly1120 6
Lol that's disgusting. I hate the smell of Vicks
kattylizbeth 19
Omg, how?! Lol I love it, it's one of my fave smells!!
akg98 13
I lyk it
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I can't stand that in my face, let alone in my... yeah. Ouch.
Cowboy1986 4
That's what she said lol
jweezy89 4
22- finally someone gets an epic win with that joke.