Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Yelling through it
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Back on the wagon
Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
Help
Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML
Poot
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
I've known for ages
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
*buys case of Listerine*
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Leaked
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Top comments
notsocommonsense 1
well at least you learned to use a smaller coin next time you decide to be an idiot
Ajjas013 6
That's RICH HAHAHAHA. I know, I fail :(
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Comments (195)
AluraShadowHunte 0
That is such a Moronic thing to do.. My four year brother even knows not to swallow coins or small objects that are not met to be eaten... YDI as far as I am concerned, perhaps next time you will be more wiser in the choices you make and think things through.
mjolene 0
I like eating quarters, that way I don't need a bank account. I eat all my money.
urlifeiseffed 0
no big deal if ueat a quarter, you should only have been worried if u crapped out two dimes and a nickle
misskas17 0
wow your a genius
SammDrummer14 0
this made me laugh. a lott.
KevHog 1
YDI. Only losers poop.
wolfPDX 0
I wonder that happens to all of those people that work eating pieces of metal such as that Frenchman Michel Lotito? Don't think he had that problem. Then again, YDI for accepting that dare, although they should have dared you to cover it with hot sauce ( maybe Dave's Insanity sauce) before eating it.
TheBreaKer_fml 0
you sir, are an idiot
valitutto17 0
try a half dollar coin next time, let us know how that goes.
Sekococo 0
spike tv shpould of add this to 1000 ways to die :)