Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
notsocommonsense 1
well at least you learned to use a smaller coin next time you decide to be an idiot
Ajjas013 6
That's RICH HAHAHAHA. I know, I fail :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (195)
astro2 0
WOW never knew dignity was so cheap these days. Only cost u a quarter (and doctor bills of course) "only in america"
erjaguam 0
haha
sasonzal 4
remind me the time in the simpsons the cop gave he's retarded son a dollar then he caughed up a five buck
sasonzal 4
if someone would give u 137(my fanincal status)would you reeat that shited coin?
Jimboom 12
Well... at least now you can go up to a friend... fart loudly and say "Well thats my 2 cents worth"
shakenbake93 0
now who's fault was this???
jbond98 0
stupid ass
youthink_fml 0
What did you think was going to happen? YDI.
Compass 0
Well maybe if somebody did a little more anal this wouldn't be a problem, now would it?
ScaryyMary 14
I ate a quarter once, when I was about 8, but have had no problems. Okay, MENTAL problems don't count >.