Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
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Top comments
MrSchneebly 5
Kepp checking your poop you could be rich by next month
davidisbeast 12
At least you got the quarter back :D that's a whole TWENTY FIVE cents !
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Comments (129)
MrSchneebly 5
Kepp checking your poop you could be rich by next month
TherealMort 0
When you find a hundred dollar bill, call me.
nava1210 12
I wouldn't call 7, just call DocBastard so he can blog about it
EddiE_CN 8
I think I just discovered a new kind of stupidity.
baseball6917 8
makin it poop is the new make it rain
enonymous 9
I know how someone is paying for that next cup of coffee.
Anubyte 0
Dude! You gotta change that!
carlygesoff 0
Not so much (;
elementalz 2
Good thing u didnt go blind
urdirtyolduncle 15
^ he swallowed a quarter; not a nickle. Therefore, he can't get nickle poisoning.
unitedfan11 0
Sounds like you just do stupid shit in general...
Jiplo 18
u can go blind if u eat a nickle? wth!
B_CeouL 12
Now that's what you call shit for change
teague95 16
Lame pun Jabawockee makes lame puns.
fallensnow143 6
lol
brianfantana32 10
Well I guess that was a shhhhhhhhhi- tough situation that must've been painful and shocking. What did you think I was going to say? But seriously, how did you manage to get it down there.
rkdstp1995 25
you really need to CHANGE your attitude...
bjr1208 3
How shitty!
jackassiddy 8
How is this shitty? OP is officially a ******* piggy bank! OP, when you go to college take a laxative.. instant tuition..
iamesauce 4
It's shitty because if a debt collector knows this, all they'll need to do is beat the shit out of him for the money.
MiddleThumb 0
That's not funny
davidisbeast 12
At least you got the quarter back :D that's a whole TWENTY FIVE cents !
davidisbeast 12
And here come the retards that are gonna thumb me down because they are too stupid to recognize sarcasm ....
VVeetard 8
No shit sherlock
Oh_Hayy_Its_Lex 10
hmm, some people dont know how to take a joke?^
davidisbeast 12
77- I guess not x)
thatsphuckedsoba 0
No shit sherlock
jessiejess020 0
don't spend it all in one place!
False_Stupidity 42
And DON'T tell the cashier where it's been ... Or maybe tell them -after- they have taken it. *evil laugh*
TJ1991 3
Just be thankful you passed it, rather than getting stuck. not going to lecture you much but eating change is something I think a child would be more likely to do. I hope you're a good party animal then.
skinthesnakes 6
Hey the guy that took you home was nice enough to give cab fare...just in the wrong place.
2wenty0ne21 0
Well use it for a gumball...
boofgall 16
I hardly think it's worth it. ._.
thatsphuckedsoba 0
What the ****
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
If you eat at least four of those, you can get it in dollars xD
Steve95401 49
At least OP didn't shit in Santa's lap - I hope not anyway.
yumlicious 4
Speaking of Santa and swallowing change... When I was 4 I swallowed a quarter and it became stuck in my throat. Santa performed the heimlech on me and saved my life. ...Not that anyone cares?!?!
Torva_fml 16
You're right! I don't care, sorry.
deadxmau5 6
Lol mobile ATM Bank of shitmerica
leogirl95 12
Better than having a money tree