Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
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Top comments
notsocommonsense 1
well at least you learned to use a smaller coin next time you decide to be an idiot
Ajjas013 6
That's RICH HAHAHAHA. I know, I fail :(
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Comments (195)
saranottelling 7
Ew, did you get it removed in his office? Did they throw the coin out or did one of you keep it?
drewrox 0
yea cuz they are gonna keep a coin that was in someones asshole. LOL
kukri187 12
maybe they have a "lost and found box" like on scrubs.
aback 5
Hope you told him to keep the change. Don't worry about it. Doctors find all sorts of things stuffed up there. A quarter is nothing.
Maddoctor 10
I'm calling fake, only because it takes usually two days for the full digestion cycle to take place. If it is real, then I hope you at least disinfected the coin, otherwise you'll have just absorbed tons of bacteria and germs from maybe hundreds of different people. Way to go.
galaxy87 0
Yeah its definitely fake!
SeasonedSausage 0
In Soviet Russia, Quarter eats YOU!
adventurepaws 0
LOL
mariahrawks 0
I don't think I'll be able to touch a quarter for sometime without desanatizing it fully first. :p
Shannankathryn 0
how does that happen????
Sniper3000 0
idiots these days...
person555 0
every body know the biggest coin you should ever eat is a nickle
Summer95 0
Really... I mean really?
FarSide 23
If it had stuck in your throat instead of your asshole, you would have died. If it had been a 50-cent piece, you would have won a Darwin award. Something tells me you are still a contender.
boopityboppity 11
She should at least get an Honorable Mention!