Today, my brother bragged about the number of break-up texts he sent this week while driving. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he was dating 3 girls, that he broke up with them over text, that he was texting and driving, or that he's proud of his actions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!" I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML
Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML
Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML
Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML
Today, I got in the car with my brother, who drives all the time with his eyes glued to his phone. We stopped at a red light, it turned green. I noticed that he was still looking down and told him the car ahead was moving. I then got screamed at, saying how I'm always right, how my friends suck, and how he wished I was dead. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML
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Top comments
Norja 33
He is the type of selfish womanising asshole that will get into an accident and walk away without a scratch and kill some innocent person. Hope karma gets him one day.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
D. All of the above
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Comments (14)
waterfalleyes 8
wow looks like he achieved ultimate coolness
Sheepiebeepie 26
No one does sarcasm anymore?
pjsr 33
Definitely the texting and driving
John Nemeth 14
Dam Alphas.
Norja 33
He is the type of selfish womanising asshole that will get into an accident and walk away without a scratch and kill some innocent person. Hope karma gets him one day.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
D. All of the above
sarkycow 25
... wouldn't it be E. all of the above? If I've buggered my reply I'm blaming it on trying to think at 2am 😕🤓
CrazyTrainWreck 19
E would be correct but I realized my mistake after I posted and couldn't change it.
Lobby_Bee 18
Usually people that brag only do so to compensate for something else.
ARISKomuniszt 24
charming man.
RichardPencil 32
He’ll probably end up having sex with countless beautiful women. Bastards always win. Karma will fix their wagon in the next life, but who has time for that?
Donut_Wizard 23
But he is really proud of the high score he got from all those pesky pedestrians.
DanielleinDC 34
How about all four? I hope you said to him what you said to us.