Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Use your socks
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML
Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Autopilot
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Crackers
Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML
Today, I got fired from the job I've only had for a week. Between paying for a physical, my own background check and uniforms, I paid more money to start working there than I'll get from my one and only paycheck. FML
Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Meritocracy, amirite?
Today, I worked for 4 hours and made $28.00. I have $1500 of bills coming due soon. FML
Shit for brains
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Top comments
bettyc4 26
I'll send you some XD
pm_sky 0
fast food restaurants to restock
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Comments (157)
playa_42 3
you've been unemployed for a week... and you're already broke... you need to learn what a savings account is.
perdix 31
You still have the tube, right? First, you should train to have Flawless Victories and when you don't, use the tube until your unemployment checks arrive.
Dcm210 19
hope you'll find a good job soon.
Jamialia 5
Then borrow some! Family & friends. A SMS amount to get you through.
hiddenpoet 0
Go to the nearest resturant and take some
BubbleGrunge84 7
Man some you are so stupid it surprises me that you are able to function in society. First OP sorry about the job loss. I know it's rough out there but hey mow some lawns if you have to. Secondly, for the ones who want to know why he doesn't have a savings account not everyone has the ability to save money. Some people live pay check to pay check. And like some have said just because this is his first week of being broke doesn't mean that all of his utilities (such as internet) will be shut off that quickly. For all you know he payed all his bills and that is why he is broke . If he is using his cell phone to post this, that is a mandatory payment or else you may get charged an excessive fee for shutting off your service before your contract is up. That definitely isn't going to help a money problem. Good luck OP, hope things work out for you!
Mr25_fml 14
steal some. do whatever you have to, but get some TP dammit!
JenniferTheDark 0
Go to a hotel, and say your room is out of toilet paper, you'll get a free roll.
_Athena_ 10
If the OP had enough money for a hotel room, I'm pretty sure they could afford to buy some toilet paper.
Justin23L 2
He doesn't mean buy a room. Just walk into a hotel and ask the front desk for toilet paper. I doubt that would work though
_Athena_ 10
Ah. I see what he meant now, haha.
TonyIsMyDog 2
That's so shitty.
sparklecherry 4
Well get a damn job!