Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask my best friend to go on a date with me. She assumed I meant a double date and squealed, "Who's the lucky guy?!" She thought I was her gay best friend for the past year. FML
Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterwards, we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shook hands with asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML
Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML
Today, I came out as a lesbian to my friends. They were supportive, save for my one friend, who accused me of copying her by also being a lesbian. FML
Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
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Top comments
boundbytheanimus 9
It's weird that upon first meeting you he'd inquire about your relationship with your friend anyway.
chickenflem 8
Taken aback you should have asked him when last he got his eyes checked out ;)
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Comments (218)
KRiddle 15
Wow, that fails, I'm sorry.
perdix 31
He's probably pissed that you are not a baritone. Choirs are usually hurting for baritones.
kateindeed 5
Lol androgyny. That blows OP, wear a dress occasionally?
boundbytheanimus 9
Not for intentionally androgynous people.
kateindeed 5
If the OP was intentionally androgynous, they wouldn't have made an FML about it.
boundbytheanimus 9
And if this hypothetical OP didn't post a story about OP's hypothetical, intentional androgynous appearance, then I don't think we'd really care. Because we wouldn't know. We can't really see into parallel universes - that is if they do exist.
stevenmx86 8
I'm sorry derpin :( I don't really believe there's much more than that to say though than what I already said. haha
JustDerpin 11
You should've made a clever joke. I guess it was the idea of having first comment, huh?
loller27 6
just... what?
KiddNYC1O 22
Just don't.
cassiebear7652 7
Bitches be crazy
Heinousness 0
As an addition to my earlier comment, I didn't mean to offend. Your life must suck if I'm getting so many thumbs down :(
Heinousness 0
Another comment: disregard that last sentence in my second comment
JustDerpin 11
That moment when you wish you could delete stupid comments..
Heinousness 0
I agree. My heads been in a daze since the Hunger Games commercials began. You should know I like it because of the mockingjay pic
GoW_Chick 15
Hey now you can use this to your advantage to get that solo everyone is striving for, guilt trips can be a very powerful weapon to add to your arsenal.
Rebel5005 4
Hahahaha im sorry
foolycooly910 5
ok your reply is crazy funny to me, because thats the way to make someone feel better after being called a man :•