Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask my best friend to go on a date with me. She assumed I meant a double date and squealed, "Who's the lucky guy?!" She thought I was her gay best friend for the past year. FML
Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterwards, we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shook hands with asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML
Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML
Today, I came out as a lesbian to my friends. They were supportive, save for my one friend, who accused me of copying her by also being a lesbian. FML
Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
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Top comments
boundbytheanimus 9
It's weird that upon first meeting you he'd inquire about your relationship with your friend anyway.
chickenflem 8
Taken aback you should have asked him when last he got his eyes checked out ;)
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Comments (218)
stevenmx86 8
Haha wow that's unfortunate...
JustDerpin 11
Im ashamed of you. You got first comment and this is what you say? Oh Steven...
doctorwhogirl 0
I'm sure you would make a very pretty girl of you wanted. at least you know if you ever get into some trouble with the government it won't be that hard to change you gender. just add some padding on your chest and you're good to go my friend.
chippedipp 0
Why would you need to clarify your gender when you Said that you are not à lesbian? That says it all
NuTrees 9
The director was still confused. Insinuating that she was a girl was still hard to understand. She must of looked like an obvious man. Or was just being rude.
thiscrazything 1
Or he is in serious need for glasses.
taco_bender 12
Maybe if she shaved the facial hair and fixed her face. And wore a plastic bag over her head. That should fix her problem. She wouldnt have to worry bout looking like a guy anymore.
ciscmowe 5
At least he didn't ask you to clarify what type of species you were.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Never seen so many comments in a row buried.
llamafish 25
67 - OP is already a female...
SkateboardGirl88 11
No shit Sherlock
ankoku 2
Why's that? The op could become a master of disguise!
Angitia 8
112, she meant pretty girl as in look feminine.
mightymart 5
Some people's lives dont depend on what they post here #15...
Miss_Bethica 11
112- the director thought she was male so adding padding = boobies = female aka real gender. derp.
evamusical 12
He's stupid. Ever met a guy named Rachel?!
megamandude455 10
67 OP IS a girl
AlanHatesChu 0
Lmao... that sucks.
JustDerpin 11
Well, duh.
DarkSanster 7
Like your comment..
Krystal3408 32
He's a nosy one
txgirl2013 14
Taken aback, that sucks
muzy 23
have you just learned a new word?
widdizzles 0
I'm pretty sure your supposed that capitalize the beginning of your sentence.
widdizzles 0
The that in my comment, above is supposed to be 'to'. Damn autocorrect.
NeonBluee 8
Maybe you should stop criticizing everyone else's comment and start worrying about yours.
JustDerpin 11
I'm pretty sure you're supposed to use you're instead of your...
PaulB123 11
I'm pretty sure, no wait I'm definitely sure you're wrong, 'JustDerpin'.
DulceCandy 4
84- I'm pretty sure 71 was talking to 51...
redbluegreen 41
I'm pretty sure this comment thread can end now.
kooochris1995 14
I'm pretty sure.... Ahh I got nothing. Just wanted to keep it going.
JustDerpin 11
I was talking to 49/51 , so your argument is invalid bitch.
kooochris1995 14
^ Whoa! Just take it easy man!
nerobluerose 10
Great job drake. Now josh will be hounded as a FBI most wanted
DocBastard 40
I lost 74 brain cells from reading all this idiocy. I'm not sure what part **** of my brain **** those neurons controlled, but SHIT I'm sure I'll ASSHOLE figure it out someday.
StoryOfTheYear 15
If it were up to me I'd say you somehow contracted a strong dose of Tourette's from this thread Mr. Doc.
muzy 23
#147- Looks to me like someone is suffering from a mild case of tourette's syndrome!!
bizarre_ftw 22
71 - check back on #49, i think you should use the correct form of your/you're before you criticise others mix-ups you fail at grammar nazism
P374RD3D 9
Male choir sounds better anyways
Aoifexzx 3
Yes, because OP is female and you suggest she goes to male choir. Logic.
Heinousness 0
Were you reading this? Or skimming? IT'S A GIRL, RETARD
quackImapenguin 16
No, he's probably saying that she should sneak her way into a male choir if possible because male choirs are better. As a girl in choir I agree, if the choir directors at my school thought I was a guy, I would definitely make the most of it by sneaking into men's choir. He's not telling her to give up her choir dreams.
enzozo101 8
This sounds like Mulan : choir edition
chickenflem 8
Taken aback you should have asked him when last he got his eyes checked out ;)
markrs 0
OP must be Justine Bieber
dadof2 4
Ummm Pat !!
twilightluvr101 4
What would justin beiber be doing in a choir, don't u need to be able to sing to be a part of that?
Frijolero_92 1
Your not from lesbia???
chickenflem 8
The epic moment when you're not top comment but you're still top comment lol. Only the wise will understand
harrypotter955 19
You should start wearing dresses to school so people don't get confused.
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
Then people will think that she's a male cross dresser. Not a bright idea.
redbluegreen 41
OP shouldn't have to do anything.
anonymous496 0
if op looks like a dyke she should
dobbyisfreeeeeee 10
Gee whiz, great idea! Maybe she could wear a bonnet too! Or an apron! Just in case you weren't being sexist enough.
idiothater1 4
Shut up and make me a coffee:-)
Dracoboxer357 36
6- People getting confused is their problem, OP doesn't Need To start wearing anything to change that as long as she's comfortable with that. 106- Agreed. 177- Sure thing, cream and sugar?
Sidel 11
or it's their problem if they get confused. op should wear what she feels like.
twilightluvr101 4
Lemme get this straight, op should change who she is for other people? That's not right at all, she is who she is and if people can't tell the difference well then that's their problem. Op be true to ur self and if u want to change make sure it because it's what u want and not because of anyone else:-) !
mnblkjpoi 0
Maybe if you didn't look like a man that wouldn't happen
JustDerpin 11
BURN!
JustDerpin 11
No one gets my Ashton Kutcher reference? Oh well.
Dajucy1 7
We got the reference, it just wasn't funny -.-
JustDerpin 11
^ What the **** are you talking about?
JustDerpin 11
Haha. Ignore that then. Commence the negative voting. (:
GoW_Chick 15
Well maybe if you puff, puff, and pass will all start start to see the comedic genius of your comment..
ClaremoreZebra 8
I love That 70's Show, I will be thumbing up all the way my friend!
GoW_Chick 15
*We'll Before anyone else decides to jump on my comment I will, to much puffin' and passing for me it seems. -.-
Dajucy1 7
90, there's no genius in his comment
buck33 14
Yeah.. Your burn just got burned.
JustDerpin 11
114 - you mean her.
boundbytheanimus 9
It's weird that upon first meeting you he'd inquire about your relationship with your friend anyway.
boundbytheanimus 9
Choir director. He'll make you sing. Or yell with pleasure. ;)
HeartOfLead 24
Ha! Since the choir was PROBABLY for a catholic church, he was probably aiming to score, until you confirmed your gender that is. Now he'll have to watch little league tonight instead! NOW THUMB ME DOWN TO HELL!
1crabbygirl 10
That was my thought as well.
1crabbygirl 10
That it was a weird question. Not all the sexual conjecture. NOT my thing.
Darwin03 1
I'm with you on that one.
maronofhearts 19
Not really when a new student comes to class whats the first thing teachers do? That's right ask you to tell about yourself it's actually not weird at all and should be expected that upon first meeting you he would ask something about you.
boundbytheanimus 9
157 - In my opinion, it's inappropriate to ask a student about their love life when just meeting them for the first time. Just my opinion. Never said you had to agree.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Except asking about her girlfriend/relationship status is quite personal. An appropriate question would be like "So why'd you want to join the choir?" or "What kind of work do you do?" "Is so-and-so your girlfriend" makes me suspicious that he's into said supposed girlfriend.
Heinousness 0
WTF. YDI if you are goth or have a very short haircut. Otherwise, your life sucks.
GoW_Chick 15
If they are goth or have short hair... You are a judgmental idiot. I've seen plenty of girls who wear the goth fashion and still look like girls, so I don't see why it would matter if they dress that way.
boundbytheanimus 9
Yep. Agreed. I've had short hair my entire life. And I've been mistaken for a boy several times, but I've become indifferent because I love my short hair. As you can see by my profile picture, I'm clearly a girl. Did that stop people from mistaking me for a boy? No. And did THAT make me grow my hair out? Nope.
pinkcrayola 0
I don't consider myself goth but some people misinterpret my fashion style as such. I wear skirts nearly every day though and am clearly a girl...I don't see why being goth had to do with it. 0.0
Heinousness 0
I meant a buzz cut. Sheesh. I am also sorry
Heinousness 0
I may be, but all I can think of right now is the Hunger Games movie and my crush.
boundbytheanimus 9
Are you a troll?
Heinousness 0
You know what, **** My Life for not thinking before I write( this happens once a month) oh and no
thatonetroll 0
41 are you Nancy drew because you figured this one out all by yourself
Heinousness 0
As I've stated before, this happens once a month since I was 9 to now
MikeDa1Da 14
Statistically speaking, most men like women with long hair. When I see girls with short hair, I assume that they're lesbian (unless of course they have cancer). Let's look at 29 for example. She doesn't look bad, but I personally think that she would look better with long hair. And goth people are just goth for attention. Look that statistic up too.
boundbytheanimus 9
Ah, it's okay. No big deal. People tend to get hostile on the Internet.
Heinousness 0
Why can't people delete these
boundbytheanimus 9
50- Thanks. Yes actually I could see that. I always say to my boyfriend "I'm considering growing my hair out", and though he smiles and says, "You're beautiful just the way you are", I can tell by the look in his eye, that he's thinking "**** YES."
Heinousness 0
Why do people make me feel bad for things I don't mean to do.( I was a victim of bullying)
Pentium_4 27
there's always a crazy argument going on somewhere on FML
Heinousness 0
I didn't include people with cancer in short hair
boundbytheanimus 9
I don't know if you're referring to me, but I don't have cancer.
HeartOfLead 24
Ha! I figured that since it was probably a choir for a Catholic Church, the was hoping to score, until you confirmed your gender that is! NOW THUMB ME TO HELL!
bizarre_ftw 22
Kelso? Oh wait, that 70s show was already referenced. Whoopse.