Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
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Top comments
kellster 2
Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.
icanhazlizard 0
I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.
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Comments (325)
ASISMason759 0
lol my gf is sooo hot and has the nicest **** ever... but tht sux for u man... lol
SandiRainbowFish 20
Nobody cares about your girlfriend's ****. Quit being a dumbass.
xinfin1a 0
ew YDI
AmberHall 2
I agree with #10. I don't like hair on myself personally, but it pisses me off that society seems to think its so gross on women, and yet somehow okay for men. Newsflash- hair is not good on anyone
cloudpost 0
#10, i agree and i am a man. Seriously, what is so unattractive about hair? Apart from the fact that in the 1920s, somebody realized that they could make money off hair removal products and thus decided that hair on women shall be constructed as unattractive. True story. So you felt a hair on a woman, so what? Get over it.
Donna626 0
awww <3
icanhazlizard 0
12: Wow, I was expecting that kind of response, but that had to be record time. That assumption is completely unfounded and, as a matter of fact, untrue. And the fact that you expect a girl to *apologize* for her body is sexist and ridiculous--although she probably did, just because we've been cowed into believing that we need to apologize for the natural state of our bodies. That expectation is no more fair or reasonable than to expect a man to apologize for having a small penis. How in the world can we help it? And don't say shaving. We shave our legs and under our arms because that's what society has come to expect, but if a girl has hair in more places than that, there's not much she can do about it. We can't shave our whole goddamn bodies. I repeat my last request: get the **** over it.
ygdrassil 17
Hair is gross because it has a tendency to be dirty. It traps dirt and oil, that's why we have it, but modern humans bathe enough to no longer need it. And absolutely she should apologize, just like a guy should apologize for having a small penis. And everyone who apparently doesn't know what deodorant is needs to go spend the rest of their life in quarantine.
luraizu 0
I feel sorry for you.
xDMACx12 7
You want to tell me why you think a guy should apologize for having a small penis?! While I am waiting for a response I will be plotting...
Stunt_fml 5
OP, Raise your standards for everyone's sake... please.
CJ0 0
Remember, when in a bar... It's better to get a 2 at 10 than a 10 at 2.... Trust me
mizzflory 5
I get it (:
loveshackty 0
I need some help with that one
hahayou12345 0
You are exaggerating.
Art_Vandeley 0
#13 I hear thy. My ex has the fines pairs of **** I have ever seen, and the fact that porbably now some fat douche has his greasy fingers on them makes me rage. But theres a reason shes my ex, and I don`t miss that ***** one bit except for her ****. Oh and OP: FYL so hard. Boob hair? WTF?!
urbwzrd 0
man! it happened to me also! #18, you may never know! her breasts were perfect, except a few details!