Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
RIP Beard
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Foreplay
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Get away from me
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
No kinkshaming, but…
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Slick move
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Top comments
kellster 2
Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.
icanhazlizard 0
I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.
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Comments (325)
trilliamme 0
I'm not sure I completely understand the FML you're trying to get across here. Are you implying that it was a guy, or just a particularly hairy girl? Because if it's the first one, then yeah, I can understand your FML. If this was just a hairy girl (meaning, more than the peach fuzz that's everywhere on our bodies), eh, whatever floats her boat. You still got some, am I right? No FML!
FYourSEXLYFE 0
LOL AT #27 What a ******* noob
readblink 1
I agree 100% with #10
CodeMonkey123 0
I don't see a problem here everyone has hair I don't expect women to shave for me hairs just fine it's natural so stop over reacting you little twat.
BrannFYR 0
#89 you are my hero!! @ morons - obviously all humans have body hair, the OP was referring to thick body hair like a guy would. I have encountered girls who have this condition (yes they were girls not trannys, I check ; P ) so I know first hand (lol) that this is possible. It's cool if a girl wants to let her hair grow out and be "natural" - just don't expect everyone to be okay with it. Just like anyone can go and get their entire body covered in tattoos, lots of people will think that is awesome, and just as many will be repulsed. sooo.....
Amorbis 0
I don't think this is really an FML for many of the reasons stated above And yes, #12 and #27, you're both incredibly retarded
LuxLisbon_fml 0
Hmm, I'm torn on this one. Everyone saying it's gross, or that the OP has low standards, etc. is pretty immature. Most girls have at least some hair there. Have you considered the posibility that the girl hadn't been expecting to have sex that night, thus hadn't thought to epilate? However, I disagree that women are expected to remove body hair simply because of some evil sexist pact made by 'Society'. Yeah, the notion is perpetuated by advertising and such, but that's only because they know it appeals. And the reason it appeals is that hirsutism is a sign of high levels of testosterone, so hairless women=more fertile-looking=more sexually attractive. Mother Nature is a bitch, but you can't blame 'society' for everything.
lbg513 0
@79 while I disagree with your opinion, you make a point that everyone is entitled to their own preferences. I mean, we all say "to each his own" when people have bizarre fetishes, but then jump all over someone because they prefer a woman without a little extra hair? I prefer my husband to shave his face everyday and to keep his nether-regions groomed (not bald, I find that creepy), and he prefers for me to shave from the waist down on a regular basis, so I'm not going to hate on someone for simply liking/disliking something. That being said - 10 and 15 are right on about the societal double standards. Unless the OP shaves HIS chest hair every day (provided he's even old enough to have any), he really can't complain. It does go the other way - as much as some men prefer for women to shave, some women prefer some men to as well, and it's frustrating that only the women are actually expected to comply. Sidenote: I don't know about other women, but I would probably NEVER shave my chest even if I had hair there (beyond the normal peach fuzz :-P). The OP is probably exaggerating anyway, but there are just some places you DON'T shave, or even put weird, skin-irritating creams on.
Turnip_Girl 0
YOU MEAN HUMANS ARE MAMMALS? :OOO Grow up. :/
FYourSEXLYFE 0
#115 sounds like a nasty gorilla woman