Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
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Top comments
kellster 2
Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.
icanhazlizard 0
I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.
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Comments (325)
chris_e81 0
ugh man thats way wrong
AnAngryFetus 0
It's a trap! You know this had to be done. http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa71/SilverSage1210/AdmiralAckbar.jpg
p0kegeek 4
i love girls who are all natural and remind me of Jane of the jungle.
um_duh 0
Dude looks like a lady? Just kidding. All women have hair, if you choose to **** some random you met at a bar you can deal with it.
milkert 0
anyone that says you're making it up is just lucky enough to have not seen a woman like this yet. they do exist.
drinkupgorgeous 0
aww poor girl. i didn't even know you could grow hair down there. unless it was peach fuzz. then yeah, you're a dumbassssssssssss trickkk. either way, ydi. fhl.
Prawn_fml 2
Seriously, humans are covered in hair. There ain't a lot of animals with hair growing out their palms, but we're one of'em. Either way, if you want someone to shave somewhere, I suggest you express that desire/fetish respectfully, and in turn consider shaving what they might want off you.
jellomangoface 0
YDI for expecting her to be hairless. Seriously, all women have peach fuzz on their bodies, and they don't complain about the thick, black hairs on some men's chests. Unless you shave every square inch of your body, you have no right to expect the women you pick up from bars to do that. No double standards.
jb21 0
pffft...this one's probably the lamest FML i've read. It's barely an FML...unless you're talking about really long terminal chest hairs/the kind that grows on men.
iareamused 0
if it's natural body hair, it should not be so thick to the point where it tickles you. meaning, you're exaggerating, get the **** over it. if it's because she normally shaves over her boobs and happen to miss a day or two so it became thick and stabby, then that's just weird...