Today, to repay my brother who's been hosting me, I took his laundry out to wash. Loading the machine, I gave a tug on the corner of a towel and the biggest dildo I've ever seen flew out of the basket and bounced to a stop in the middle of the floor. Every. One. Saw. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML
Today, I went to pick up my laundry from the communal machines in my apartment building. When I got there, all my clothes were neatly folded on top of the dryer. I was impressed, until I realized half of the pile wasn’t mine. I'd been carrying someone else’s underwear up to my apartment. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, I was doing laundry when my downstairs neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some knickers. Apparently, it had flown off the clothesline and landed on his head while he was sweeping outside. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Damn. You'd think at least one other person would throw their ***** on the floor too, just so it's less awkward for you. But I guess helping out a stranger in need is a lost art these days.
Lobby_Bee 18
Explain to everyone that it's not what it looks like, it's a dog toy.
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Comments (14)
Murgray D. John 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Next time, dildon't touch his laundry?
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dave_Davington 34
Damn. You'd think at least one other person would throw their ***** on the floor too, just so it's less awkward for you. But I guess helping out a stranger in need is a lost art these days.
Lobby_Bee 18
Explain to everyone that it's not what it looks like, it's a dog toy.
Manav Shukla 7
Lol .... u will remember this every time
Christina Winden 22
Wow, that's hard to talk your way out of. Really not something you could have pre-dick-ted though. I hope the rest of the laundry wasn't too much of a pain in the ass. In the future re-member not to go through your brother's private things, even if you get the vibe that you're helping.
DragonMaiden7 15
Dayum Girl, that’s an assload of puns. I’d hate to see where you’ve been storing them all this time
Neror 13
Not to mention the pen that exploded in the dryer.
gbomb82 5
What a pain in the ass!
gbomb82 5
What a pain in the ass!
KittyMack 13
I would be a million times less upset about strangers seeing me with a *****, than about encountering my relative's sex toy, and pondering that they may have been using it lately... during your stay under the same roof. Like think about it- if you were to set eyes on your sibling's *****, would the natural response not be to go mad and swiftly seek death? I think so. Luckily for my peace if mind, all my relatives are utterly asexual. YES THEY ARE! EVERY ONE OF THEM!