Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
They play with balls more than you do, apparently.
maskedman 9
I guess now you have to take women's tennis away from, which leads to him teeing off to women's golf, which eventually leads to him polishing his pin to "women's" bowling. The masculine women of women's bowling makes an easy transition into homosexuality which leads to a divorce. Let your husband watch normal **** so that we can put a stop to this.
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Comments (209)
yakturk43 0
wow YDI for being a bitch. all guys **********/watch ****. maybe of you paid him more attention and instead of nagging him about relieving his stress you help him out he wouldn't watch as much. but yeah YDI FOR BEING A CONTROLLING BITCH
SilenceIsSilver 0
Not everyone does.. Some find it... Icky. xD
rasellersjr 0
your a rare case...
pipp360 0
u need to do more to satisfy him. ur fault
KingGrone 0
damn Hillary Clinton next time take care of ur dick
holmcross 0
Virtually every man watches ****, satisfied or not. It is stupid and naive to expect otherwise.
endurancefan212 21
No, it's not "stupid and naive" to expect otherwise. Watching **** or jacking off means the man (or woman) isn't being satisfied enough by their partner. A couple who is physically satisfied doesn't need to use other methods to get the same result. Isn't that the same reason people cheat, is because they aren't getting the satisfaction they need from their partner?
blackaut 0
Perfect! now you know exactly which costume to wear the next time you hear him watching it to get him interested in you again... perdix 1 for the Vanessa Williams Comment
Reality_bites 14
OP, the guy was horny. And he found a way to satisfy himself without: a) cheating on you b) watching **** because he knows you hate it c) bothering you when he knows that you're most likely not in the mood for sex and finally d) cheating on you. Oh wait that was also point A. Funny that. Give the guy a break, he probably has a higher sex drive than you and is trying to satisfy both your needs, instead of being a "selfish prick" by demanding his fill from you when you're not in the mood. Or worse from someone else. Pick your battles. This one shouldnt be one of them.
screwballjtw 0
exactly, that's what I was thinking too...
rasellersjr 0
well put
YoungE 0
lol...loop hole...you never said he coudlnt to woman's tennis...lol shit he must be lawyer
jillz 0
Gee. Seems like he's alright as long as he can look at someone besides his wife. :/ @OP, FYL big time but YDI if you stay
rasellersjr 0
nvm my last ice box comment, it's been reassigned to you...
rasellersjr 0
Wow, that Ice Box comment to OP has been reassigned to you...
infernofalcon 0
haha #9 wins
popemichael 9
YDI for being such a bitch. My ex wife was the same way. Withheld sex for her own sadistic games. Then threatened to leave if I looked at ****. I hope he leaves you as soon as he can. There are MUCH better women out there compared to you.