Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
They play with balls more than you do, apparently.
maskedman 9
I guess now you have to take women's tennis away from, which leads to him teeing off to women's golf, which eventually leads to him polishing his pin to "women's" bowling. The masculine women of women's bowling makes an easy transition into homosexuality which leads to a divorce. Let your husband watch normal **** so that we can put a stop to this.
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Comments (209)
silasandseansfml 0
hmmm
Elksy 0
I admit to being pissed when my boyfriend watches ****, because I have a higher sex drive than he does. I feel like he's wasting his horniness.
thisisunique68 4
I'm the exact same way. My boyfriend has what seems to be an almost nonexistent sex drive, whereas I could go almost any time. So when he looks at it it bothers me because he has a girl right here who'd go at it anytime with him..and he goes and looks at that. Granted it isn't often and isn't right in front of me or anything but still. It's a bit frustrating.
BigGreenEyes23 0
Maybe if you actually had sex with him more often, he wouldn't of had to bother, ydi.
OMGFYLHARD 0
#13 is like a fortune teller..
RuralNinja 0
YDI. You obviously don't put out anymore, and get pissed when he turn to other options. Stop being a bitch and be a decent wife for a change.
feelingsOfpain 0
marriage is a way of saying lets never have sex again, clearly he's not getting any and you dont let him watch **** so hes beatin it to whatever he can YDI for being an uptight prude!
Mahyar 2
Hmm I would congradulate him.
AstroTurf 0
LOL I guess she was Ironic to "herself" writing this. In my xperience, personal and others, women ********** more then men...but only MEN needs to tell the world WHO gets them off!? Women, learns early that their sex life, belongs to men, and keep their fantasies to them self, unless it is a fantasy categorized in PornTube, or Googlable, then it is ok to share... i.e. fantasies that MEN made up, for their pleasure... In my early days, I got tricked to tell about my "masturbation" habits...all men I told that, forbid me to "read" in another room, or noted how often and how long I took showers...I even was not allowed to keep my legs crossed while watching a certain show. I've been called nymphomaniac, faker, cheater etc. Masturbation and sex with your partner is two diff. things. Now I know to keep my private sex life, PRIVATE, and to expect the same of my partner. I do not tell my partner WHO gets me going, I do not want to know WHO get him going. WHO is the same, if it's a famous **** star, or the bus-driver. It is not less "PRIVATE" cause it is a WELL KNOWN PUBLISHED "WHO" Men and Women **********, it is a biological phenomena, it have the same function for both. We can be different on how it's initiates, but the function is the same...enjoy,relax, think of something else.
nudist 0
If you don't want him to Jack off then you need to be willing to get on your knees and swallow any time he wants it.
bryttanicutter 2
lol I love the sounds those bitches make. oh maybe **** him on the regular