Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied, "Oh, I usually come early." She laughed. FML
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Top comments
Jefe_fml 0
Nice, you're only temp, go for it.
littlemisslee 0
did you **** in your pants? lol
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Comments (202)
lmmmr 0
Self-control.
Dboy23 0
Hm, hot boss + being touched = impossible self-control.
AngryC4t 0
Self-control my ass.
LogicLover 0
No, you're right, if the OP is a teenager. He's more then likely in his 30's, maybe late 20's. So self control should be natural by now. Unless he still lives in mom's basement. And I'm calling bs. There is no way the boss patted your leg high enough to make contact with even the tip of your erection. Unless she was trying to do so, in which case she was more than likely very close to your inner thigh. Otherwise, I refuse to believe you are a horse with no self control.
lmmmr 0
He clearly "had the erection" before she touched him (assuming the impossible validity of his claim), which came from his lack of self control because he "couldn't take his eyes off her legs." Had he looked her in the face like a normal human being, the situation would have been avoided. Simple YDI.
shoegal808 0
Exactly!! The only way she could pat his "third leg" unintentionally is if it was like worlds longest and was situated around his knee area
SpicyDuck 22
exactly what I think. There is no way she would touch you there...unless it was on purpose. and if it was then something would have happened for sure. but from what you say, it didnt sound like she was trying to show interest.
Firegod83 2
lmmmr, you really need to either stop posting or get off the high horse. I'm sure im not the only one noticing you are constantly attacking men in your posts. Seriously, we get it, you can stop with it now.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
damn is that guy that hung
ilovefatcats 12
did the boss notice...?
Quacki 0
the first time I read this I was thinking 'so who's leg was it?'
rileybrownie 0
self control... psht most men have none if a girl has a large chest they r bound to look it a girl with sexy curves is wearing something sexy and skin tight they r most likely gunna check her out...
Iamevil123 16
At least he got a handjob.
NumbaFour 4
Not all men. Nice stereotype. Thats like saying all women are weak and cant do a mans job. Uh thats totally false.
Jefe_fml 0
Nice, you're only temp, go for it.
genius_man16 1
^^^^ Exactly what I was thinking. TAP THAT SHIT BRO.
Jaywin 3
Hell yes. This scenario is hot.
aaaaa12345_fml 0
i would be like "oh, btw that was my wiener you tapped"
AlwaySunny 0
Do you work at a lumber yard? cause you got some major wood sir
bensharp 5
I'm not sure that's an fml...
littlemisslee 0
did you **** in your pants? lol
TNEBlover 0
and he jizzed in his pants
krisFrAnHeehar 0
"i just ate a grape and i... jizzed in my pants"
thereitgo 1
Newsflash: it's not funny after the first time. We all understood the reference without you quoting the song.
TheSickness 0
Yeah, but no one says newsflash anymore..... :/ And no FML here. Aha. I say good job.
humorizer 14
JEANNIE! STOP LIVING IN A DREAM, YOU'RE LOST IN THE WOODS, NO PLACE TO GO.... THERE'S SOMEONE... WHO NEEDS YOU!!!! NEWSFLASH! In der nachte zeite, Lulz. +5 points to anyone who gets the reference.
Cloudy_fml 0
Falco?
RhymePrime 7
We're going to need a cleanup on aisle 3.
izzabella43 0
its perfectly normal... nothing wrong with me
greekgal44 14
i just opened my window and a breeze rolled in and i jizzed... in my pants
sadoc 0
did she notice?
moneypenny_fml 0
sounds like someone had a raging clue!
SirJamie77 7
Oh I'm so getting a clue right now... Hahaha, -high five-
CableX17 0
I just lost the game:(
Danhickey 0
fuuuuck
TwitchingNebula 17
My clue is pointing over here. Really? I just got a raging clue too!
LilMonsterGirl 10
#158, you suck.
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
Ooh, my clue is pointing THIS way now.
Knockyoudown 0
Lol did she notice or not?
lawlfyl 0
That must've provoked a pretty awkward conversation.
Julle_fml 0
Control yourself man! :P
Rok_fml 0
Screw self-control... Go for it!!
chazstah 0
...wow.. what a cool boss. :] this is definitely not an fml
fml_fiend91 0
yea YDI job well done
immumo 2
go for it! hot boss... i'm sure a job is in the way!