Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
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Top comments
DrHail 22
Behind every man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
aleahlioness 15
Found yourself a keeper ;)
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Comments (88)
silverstream20 20
Well at least he can say that being a martial artist is not in his future.
WinterBlue42 22
Look at it this way, OP, now you know what your kids will be like if you ever have them.
Fuzy2K 7
Is your husband Tim Taylor?
fader48080 10
ha ha you married that!!!
brokenjawskhan 21
lol, fyl men do all sorts of silly things, its a part of us men.. he's a keeper xD
Confidentkid 10
My friend can do that and he has a mass of skin built up from doing it so much that we call it his unicorn horn. :)
VentiAnemoi 20
Natural selection
LO1014 16
"What could go wrong?" Famous last words.
janiiine 5
Is your hubby Homer Simpson by any chance?
deathfyre8 13
1) concentration 2) state of mind 3) technique. All of which are essential for breaking a board, with any part of your body. I am a martial artist and it's quite evident that the husband had none of these three essential components. Good luck next time, to OP's husband.