Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
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Top comments
DrHail 22
Behind every man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
aleahlioness 15
Found yourself a keeper ;)
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Comments (88)
Mattribute 13
Men will be men
ItsMissLia 19
Nothing good ever follows the sentence "what could go wrong?"
91hayek 31
I've learned that saying it out loud is jinxing whatever you're doing; like you're daring fate to mess things up for you - "oh, you really think that? Then let me show you exactly how it's not supposed to go!"
Ewelty3 19
He should have known that WOOD fail.
deathfyre8 13
That pub was bad and you should feel bad.
weveallbeenthere 30
he deserved if. dumbass.
SMHsohard 22
When bad ideas go worse: reminds me of the time my dad bought a home barber kit, went in the bathroom, yelled to my mom "Hey, honey! Look at this!" And proceeded to pretty much give himself half a Mohawk.
nbrowser 24
Another one of those "Hold my beer and watch this!" Things that went nicely sideways!
PenguinBitch 44
This is followed by Dan opening a can of beer and saying "I told y'all."
tj4234 36
yeah, this is why we have so many 'don't try this at home' signs... It takes years of training to break blocks of wood, and, there is also a technique to doing it correctly. (Which is kind of obvious really) It's no surprise he hurt himself...
lmfaofmllmafo 9
"life"
ckcknight 13
And that's the guy you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
RedPillSucks 33
They probably met in a similar way. "Hey Dan, Ima **** that blond over there. What could go wrong?"
ckcknight 13
This made me laugh. Thank you!