Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
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Top comments
DrHail 22
Behind every man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
aleahlioness 15
Found yourself a keeper ;)
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Comments (88)
azisles02 17
Any time you hear "What could go wrong?" or "Hey, watch this!" you better get your phone out because you probably will need to call 911 in about 10 seconds.
Goblin182 27
Or make a real good you tube video
Goblin182 27
Fyourlife for marrying an idiot, but he deserves it.
Chibi_Kitten 24
I'm more surprised that OP's husband doesn't already have a hard head if this is his approach to life.
desoxyn242 14
It's easy you just have to train. You must thicken your skull by hitting it repeatedly.
ViviMage 40
How much alcohol was involved?
numiraculous 2
So, your name is dan and you have a husband...
OscarEcho 12
Umm... OP's husband has a friend named Dan. They were hanging out outside the house while OP (who is clearly stated as a woman) was in the house and overheard what she wrote in the FML. That wasn't too hard, was it?
daydreamer244 13
At least he had the balls to try it I guess...? /(U-U)/
Joedbag 8
Might not be a bad idea to take out some life insurance on your idiot husband...
Julesie 9
I am a martial artist, and just saying, even we are not stupid enough to do that. LOL
Undetectable22 1
For a second I thought he was shooting someone